Learning to accept I have no control

Hi and thanks letting me join.

I came here looking for support and also read some stories that made me realise I am not alone. My husband has displayed suspicion of my activities in the past 10 months that are not normal for him.

When he first approached me about this we were midway through an overseas trip, cruising through Germany. He believed that when I was lined up in the bathroom at lunch- that I was actually in the mens with another man. This has been a repeated theme in different cities and countries and since we returned home includes concern about our neighbour, local tradesmen and waiters who serve us at dinner. He promised me he would see his Dr on his return home. This resulted in diagnoses for a deep vein thrombosis and a referral to a psychologist. He saw psych about 4 times and came to conclusion we need a divorce. He has no insight that he has a health issue and what I understand is a form of psychosis. I have tried many things including getting him to GP and MRI but he told me the MRI was clear so the problem must be me. I went to see his GP without him and GP told me there are unresolved issues from tests and my husband needs to follow up. Turns out he has a lesion on his frontal lobe and they want him to see a neurologist. By now almost 6 months have gone by and neurologist asks for 2nd MRI to see if any changes and ecg and bloods. I attend neurologist for the first visit and he sends Mr M down the corridor so he can check his gait and asks me questions about personality changes. Mr M is annoyed that he spoke with me.

Mr M is called by neurologist who says he would like him to see neurosurgeon. Appt is not happening & 3 months go by. Mr M doesn't believe it is anything serious.

I convince him to go back to GP who asks why he hasn't been to see neurosurgeon? She also says marriage coucilling will not work but a psychiatrist may be next step but speak to Neurosurgeon first. Mr M says is Psychiatrist for me or for him. GP says for the situation. None of the med professionals have let him know what they are thinking. We went home and booked neurosurgeon and wait 6 weeks for appt. I take half day off work to be there. Day before appt Mr M says he doesn't want me there especially after I spoke to Neurologist when he was out of room. I am gobsmacked. Anyway I went and met him in carpark. He said if I go in he won't. He went in alone. Told surgeon he was there due to trust issues with wife. Told me Surgeon wanted to take biopsy and he refused. NS gave referral to come back next year. Things are getting worse here. My 20 YO son is very good at pointing out some of Dad's unusual thinking. Not sure what we do now? Wait for someone to be in danger. Not feeling supported by medical system.