High functioning ASD

That will be great @Captain24

Hubby has asd

And the stepchildren have adhd and asd

What is wrong with him? Like symptoms and stuff? Whats he saying is upsetting him? @Shaz51. Context is hard to read but I mean it in a caring way

Very tired and , does not want to do anything, overthinking, thinking about what other people are saying about him , noises are too loud and annoying him

Stomach upset and not wanting to eat anything

@Captain24

I get very tired. @Shaz51. It’s a lot for your mind to go through. Mine is always racing and having both my mind fights against itself. ADHD wants one thing and autism wants another. It’s really exhausting. I have no energy for anything when I burn out. Just sit on the lounge or lay in bed. Then I’m beating myself up for doing it. The whole ‘I should be doing this’ ‘I should be doing that’ it makes it all so much worse.

I feel like people are saying I’m lazy. But I have the issue that I always think people are talking about me. I think that comes from the social anxiety which is part of the autism.

Noises are a big thing. Right now my dogs are playing and it’s driving me crazy, even though it’s good to see them happy and Pix doing well.

I don’t get an upset stomach but I can’t be bothered to eat. It just takes to much effort and then I suffer from not eating.

Its a lot to take in.

For me I just want to be left alone. No pressure to do anything. No noise, no lights or just dull lighting. I don’t even really want anyone checking in on me as it makes me feel like I’m not trying when all I’ve got is nothing.

Im not MrShaz. But maybe just let him rest. Don’t make too much noise, which I know is hard on you. Keep the lights down and don’t stress too much. I know it must be hard to see him this way but he really needs to work through it in his own.

I don’t know what is right or what is wrong but this is just what I would want.

Sorry if it’s no help.

Ohhhh @Captain24

That is how actually how Mr shaz is reacting my friend 🧡

Thank you for the last piece of advice , I will need to stop asking how he is , I will need to refocus elsewhere

Take some time out for yourself @Shaz51. Don't worry about him (as much as you can!) Do your own self care and what you want to do while he is off resting.

@Jynx may be better at what I’m saying than I am.

Honestly @Captain24 I think you nailed it!

@Shaz51 I think for myself, when I'm so utterly exhausted from everything, I can get a lot of decision-fatigue. Like if I know I gotta do the dishes and the vacuuming and my emails and and and.... then I get stuck cos I dunno which to do first, can't discern in my brain what is most important or most impactful, heck I can't even decide if I want toast or a crumpet for dinner!

What helps me a lot is having someone 'take charge' - I don't want to be asked what I want, cos I literally can't pull anything certain out of the din in my head. Having someone say 'here, I know you're exhausted so I've put your dishes away for you since they were taking up space' or 'I reckon you're probably hungry, I'll get us some dinner - pizza ok?' or like even reminding me of stuff cos I get so 'locked on' to a task I forget that I may not need to do it right now - like 'hey I see you're getting distressed about writing that email. Do you think it can wait till tomorrow? I'll read over it for you then' - omg that is always amazing.

And when I say 'take charge' I don't mean 'do everything for him' cos a) he still needs to feel a sense of agency and b) that is a shortcut to you ending up burnt out your own self! But just like @Captain24 identified, getting asked a lot of questions or being given too many options can itself contribute to the overwhelm.

Remind him that rest is not earned, it is as vital to life as the air we breathe. Resting for us hyperactive types can be really hard cos we can't typically do nothing, but it can be more like 'mental rest' by engaging in activities that feel automatic (i.e. where we might get into 'flow-state'), reducing the amount of day-to-day decisions that need to be made, and setting aside time to just...kinda be a mess. Having a big cry can do wonders!

Thank you @Captain24 , @Jynx 😍

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@rav3n wrote:

hey @Shaz51 unfortunately i don't know too much about it, but i'll tag a few members too and see if anyone can shed some more light on ASD shutdowns/burnouts

@Captain24 @0ddsidian @puppydoglover @Kris_stars1 @Tazzie27

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Not really @Shaz51 . I just know about general shutdowns and burnouts... but not from an ASD perspective.

@Jynx , @Captain24 has been great with support

And @rav3n has given me a link @tyme

I just need to refocus myself with my own self care when it happens which is hard as being a wife and a carer