I have no friends or family

I've tried joining groups and interests etc. I never manage to make any friends.. I'm always on the outer. I don't know what's wrong with me that no one wants to be a real life friend. If I do make a "friend" they always turn out to be using me.

I really want real life friendships who like me.

I think I'm a nice person but people just take advantage of me and aren't really my friend

Hey @Lite ,

This is understandable that you want people who respect and like you in real life. Having connection is so important.

What you are saying is not uncommon at all. I've heard others say this in the past, myself included. What I found helpful was using these forums to 'practice' my then-dormant social skills. Believe me, with text communication, there can be misunderstandings sometimes, so it allows me to focus on the conflict resolution that comes with social interactions.

Once I'm confident on the forums, I can then utilise this in the real world.

But I think I do have social skills. I think I just attract not nice people

hrmm... I wonder if part of the social skills learning is to set boundaries so you don't get hurt? @Lite

What do you think?

What would you see in an ideal friend?

Someone who cares about me and is there for me when I need them same as me caring for them and being there for them. But I feel like no one cares for me. I think it's hard too when you think family will be there for you and even though they have 3 spare bedrooms and a huge mansion house they won't take you in if you are homeless. I learnt that there is no one in this world who cares for me at all. They are happy for me to live in the street even though they are family and have room and money for me. And no friends would take me either. That hurts a lot.

That sounds so hard to sit with @Lite I can see how difficult it must be to see you family have everything, yet they cannot offer you support.

I guess it then comes down to, What can you do within your control to help yourself?

I don't know. I realise I'm struggling with resentments and I don't know how to deal with them because really I think I have a right to be resentful but it's just a reminder that no one on this earth cares about me anymore

Like after my mum died... 2 months later I was clearly still in grief and my then husband when overseas and I woke at 11pm In excruciating pain and I had a 2 year old in bed asleep and I didn't know why I was in pain or even if I was dying and the pain was so bad i called an ambulance but it took hours to arrive and the pain was so so so bad I thought I was maybe dying and when the ambulance arrived they said they couldn't take my 2 year old with us so I rang and rang people to come help me. And no one did. It was 5am and no one cared about me or my daughter. I didn't go to hospital cos I didn't have anyone to care for my daughter. I had to ride the pain till it stopped and then look after my daughter on no sleep by myself

So you see no one cares about me.

Awww @Lite ,

I'm so sorry you had to ride out the pain, alone. It sounds incredibly hard. I wish I could be there to support you.

Sorry, I don't know what else to say. It's like once you draw the short draw, then you're doomed?

In a way, I'm sure there are nice people around. You've just gotta come across them!

When I heard an acquaintance of mine had nowhere to go, I let them stay in my house. He's still there now. He was getting clean from drugs and could easily have gone back. But I still let him stay. Another time, someone needed a lounge - I gave them mine. Another time, someone needed a bed - I gave them mine and I slept on the floor for over a year.

So I'm sure there are caring people out there. I just hope you can connect with some. You deserve it.

But where are they? I don't have them in my life. I don't seem to be able to make proper friends.