LattepoweredSenior Contributor
Caring for a loved one with psychosis - when to admit it's just too much?
Hi friends,
I'm so grateful for this safe space to unpack challenges. I've posted before about my husband, who has been suffering from paranoid delusions for nearly 2 years. He thinks there's a big conspiracy that everyone (our neighbours, my family, his colleagues, random strangers) are 'in on', to 'set him up'. He believes there are spy cameras and listening devices in our home, that people are constantly taking photos of him etc. I've so far had no luck getting him to see a doctor, take medication or even speak to a counsellor, or simply someone other than me, to vent about his delusions.
Well, we had a good week where he didn't mention his delusions at all. But as always, I knew it wouldn't last. Sure enough right at bedtime last night he started a big, probably hour long rant about his delusions, how my family are 'scum' for being a part of it and trying to ruin his life etc. I probably didn't handle it well because I straight away snapped and told him I don't want to be in the relationship anymore if he's going to keep up with the 'topic' (that's what I say to him, instead of 'delusions'). Problem is he then gets upset that I don't believe him, that 'they' are succeeding in destroying our relationship etc.
I love this person, I know it's the illness talking not him, but im just wondering how much of this nonsense am I meant to take? I can tell myself things are ok when we have a 'good' stint, but when he has one of his delusional rants (which often happen at bedtime when im tired and just want to go to sleep!), I just wonder what the heck am I doing and how is this sustainable?! I have no idea how people can endure years or decades living with people in psychosis?
Or maybe my case is a bit different because he seems so fixed in his delusions, some of them are about my family (which is hurtful, but basically I just have to suck it up because its futile to challenge delusions), plus he gets upset at me for not believing him.
Has anyone been in a relationship like this, where they made the big decision to actually leave? This would break my heart, but I really don't know what else to do, when I think of my future options. He's not a risk to himself or others, he's just making my life pretty stressful. I keep making the mistake of arguing with or trying to sternly shut down the delusions, but then is the alternative just sitting there and listening to it, for ages?! I feel like you'd need super human patience and compassion to be able to do this.
