Battles

@AlwaysMyself thankyou, it took alot to make that call and then when I did to be met with yet another person that struggled with English, but I pushed through knowing that he was only the person passing on the message to the next person.

It just hurts cos my doctor put this referral through as urgent, he knows how bad things are and what will happen if I don't get support soon. I can totally relate to what you said about wanting to do things that were unsafe, every little let down hits so hard and just feels like it brings me closer to the edge.

I don't have a trusted friend, or any friend and I'm not seeing my gp for another week still. Thing is in that referral my doctor said that I had a plan, that I didn't plan on seeing in the new year, that's how serious things are but even after telling her that today on the phone, she seemed convinced that I'd be ok to get through to the new year without any support.

Again please know that I'm safe and I am doing everything I physically can to try to keep it that way. I'm in my bed and snuggled up with Casper while I have an audiobook playing in the background just for some noise.

Aww hun, wow even with explaining that to them today they still did not put in even some temporary support until they can get you into whatever the referral was to??? I am so sorry @MissGremlin . You have really been so brave and strong to voice to them those thoughts and how severe this is.

I am glad you are keeping yourself safe, despite thoughts. I know that can be hard and scary. So glad Casper is with you (and your bird and snake). Audiobook is a great idea.

Ps - i like snakes, even though i am terrified of wild ones.

If i could advocate for you i would in a heartbeat.

I care.

I hear you.

I want to support you.

You are important (whether or not you feel or believe it at the time).

Intensity of feelings will pass.

There is a path to management of conditions, even if it takes some trial and error along the way to find what works for YOU.

I am here with you, as are your other forum friends.

Hey @MissGremlin @AlwaysMyself

not sure what happened there just didn’t get a notification you supported or posted big apologies for that, now my support button not working either 😢

Just reading talk soon 🙏

@AlwaysMyself nope, no support, nothing. It honestly feels like i just don't matter to them and then it hits hard of knowing how much my niece was struggling and she reached out for support to a mental health service only to be told there was no appointments available then she took her own life. It takes so much strength to reach out for support when feeling so low and desperate for help, to be let down and even pushed away in those moments is so detrimental.

You're right it's hard and scary, I'm fighting a constant battle with myself. I've switched to watching Angel now, as the audiobook wasn't enough to drown out the thoughts and voices. (I'm safe)

Thankyou for being here, for listening and offering your support. I appreciate you and everyone here so much especially in these moments when things are so hard.

@Chasingsunsets it's ok. My notifications have been playing up also so I understand completely.

You reminded me of my sock thread when you supported my post so now I'm writing up a post for there ☺️.

Oohh i look forward to a new Sock post @MissGremlin @Chasingsunsets - although I might save it to read in the morning. 😘. Its one of my fav social threads on the forum.

Good ol' Angel 😁.

I hope it helps distract and lift the mood.

If you have a favourite episode/scene from the series, always welcome to let me know which one!

I dont remember all of them, but sometimes i will recall bits more when i hear them again. Or see photos from it. So many good episodes.

I may also confuse which ones were from Buffy and which were from Angel 😅. Spike's peroxide-blonde hair is such a classic of the era lol.

Hi @MissGremlin thanks for sharing with us what has been happening for you. What a major ‘kick to the ribs’ this service has been for you when all you were hoping for was a bit of support and you offered such transparency and advocated for yourself with the care you require.
I am disappointed for you here aswell. @Mindee Is so right though you have a lot of strength and tenacity and you can get through this. I also love all the support from @AlwaysMyself

It’s hard to gauge whether I should mention this as not sure if this is the service you just hit a speed bump with however would SCBC be an option if not tried already, they can do callbacks I am pretty sure. Sorry if it’s the one you tried though and don’t want to trigger you further.

I am glad you are will Casper he’s the goodest booy give him a big hug for me 🙏, I look forward to seeing your colouring when you are up to sharing, no pressure. So glad you have your forum fam with you, you are not alone my friend ☀️

this one at the moment has been one of my favourites since I saw it, I love it so much 💚

I am off to bed now but take care and hope to talk soon,

@AlwaysMyself

Oohh fantastic @MissGremlin I love a sock thread tag hehe!! Look forward to seeing it! Hope my support button comes back soon too 🤪.

Talk soon you two @AlwaysMyself 🫶

@AlwaysMyself i do like my sock thread and I keep it a space that's light and fun ☺️.

I don't have a favourite episode, but there's one that annoys me. It's the singing/musical one in Buffy, I can't stand it 😂.

Haha yes spikes hair 😂. I've honestly watched Angel and Buffy so many times, but it's such a comfort show for me. Nothing unpredictable, no need to focus cos I know I'm not going to miss anything that I haven't already seen. Even if I just listen, I can see what's happening in my head without watching it.