Battles

@MissGremlin i'm glad for you too, manifesting more of that steadiness 💗

i went in with zero expectations and ended up enjoying it! i watched it in 3D as well, which i haven't done in a looooong while 😎 was a bit weird though cos i was wearing my prescription glasses AND the 3D glasses on top... glad no one could see me in the dark 😆

@rav3n yay so glad you enjoyed it. Oohhh in 3d aswell, that would have been cool. Haha that's the bonus of watching movies in the dark, noone can see 😂.

hehe exactlyyy @MissGremlin have you watched any movies/shows lately? or are you rewatching anything at the moment?

@rav3n today I've watched the Santa clause movies, rush hour and now I'm watching the fast and the furious. Not fully focused on them but need something on in the background.

I've been making paper snowflakes today.

@MissGremlin love the selection of movies for today! i get what you mean, i like have a show/movie in the background too, it's like my version of 'white noise' i guess haha.

woah those look so PRETTY!! 😍

@rav3n yes that's exactly right like our own version of white noise, I just need noise in the background. Although Casper is good at making noise with his squeaky balls 😂.

Awww thankyou ❤️.

Hello @AlwaysMyself, how's the day been for you sweet?

Hi @MissGremlin

Objectively my day has been ok. Took my grandma out to lunch with my 2 dogs, then came home and been home since. Did a little bit of painting (now letting it dry abit; only acrylic paint so it wont take long).

But despite that, subjectively, i'm feeling pretty shit emotionally.

I hope its ok to be honest (i think you'd want me to? I'd want you to be, so i'll try to imagine the same even though i often think people won't want to hear it; the forums are safer). I'm having some random thoughts/impulses to harm, but they're not too strong so i can redirect my mind. But they're still sitting there perculating to zip across my mind again when i am not distracted. The thoughts make me want to cry because i know i won't act on them, but i feel that i want to. But i know i won't, so no one needs to worry. It just makes me cry that i want to but wont let myself.

@AlwaysMyself I'm glad objectively that your day has been ok, going out with your grandma and your 2 dogs sounds lovely. Painting is always fun, I love seeing your creations 😊.

I hear you and I'm glad you are being honest, you are always welcome to be honest with me, I'm here for you. Those random thoughts/impulses can be really uncomfortable to sit with even when they aren't too strong. Does the painting help as a distraction for you? I completely understand the emotion behind it knowing you won't but wanting to. You are doing really well to sit with those feelings and I'm here to sit with you aswell.

Have you got any plans for tomorrow sweet?

Thanks @MissGremlin . The problem with the painting is that it doesn't require brain-focus, so my thoughts and feelings can break through whilst I'm still doing it. ☹️. But i had a tv show on in the background (exactly as you &@rav3n were discussing) which sometimes helps, but i got tired of it and it started to feel a bit like irritating noise so i turned it off.

Tomorrow... i have the dog walker coming first, then i have an appt with my GP in the AM and an appt with the chiro in the PM. Other than that no plans.

Yourself?