Battles

Not woo-woo at all, all of this sounds so helpful! @NightFury 😍

How does the idea of somatic work like this sit with you? @MissGremlin 💛

@AuntGlow i typed out a post earlier tonight to say that I was going to take some time away but then I deleted it. I'm feeling so many things and I don't know what I'm supposed to do with it all.

I just want to be held, I'm hurting so much and i don't want to be alone. But then I feel like i should be alone, I feel like a burden, I feel like I'm bringing everyone down. Why does it all hurt so much, why can't I make the tears stop, all I want to do is sleep but then I struggle to sleep. I don't like this feeling and I'm feeling so scared and uncertain about the future cos right now I'm struggling to see one.

I'm safe for now (although those words are getting harder to say), I'm sitting on my bed with Casper, my music and my colouring.

Please let me know if anything needs to be edited here, this is the raw truth of how I'm feeling. I'm trying so hard to keep within the guidelines whilst still being able to share what's happening for me.

I just want you to know that how you are feeling is so very relatable and human. @MissGremlin 💛

I can hear how much you're wanting closeness and comfort, but that there's another part of you who feels like you're bringing everyone down (I assure you that you're not, and you are very welcome here).

Let's come back to the present for a moment. What is within your control right now?

And can you tell me more about how Casper is tonight? Ooh, and more about your colouring too!! 😍

@AuntGlow I'm not sure, it's just my colouring and my music i guess.

Casper is laying at the bottom of my bed. Here's a pic of how he is right now.

And here's my colouring

Awww he looks sooo precious!!

That colouring looks like it would be such a meditative practice. @MissGremlin

What music are you listening to?

Also, what's one thing that's made you smile today? Even the tiniest bit? 💖

@AuntGlow I'm hoping to give him a bath tomorrow being that it's going to be 40⁰ here.

The colouring is relaxing to a degree. But as I'm getting to the end of this picture the anxiety starts kicking in over what one I'm going to do next.

The last song that played was The strong don't get a break by Xania Monet. I've just started watching Buffy and Angel.

I can't think of anything that made me smile today.

ooh, hot day!! @MissGremlin

How will you stay cool?

Send me some options and I can pick!

Buffy and Angel are always strong choices. What do you find so comforting about those series?

What about something that you connected with on the forums? 💛

@AuntGlow my aircon will be running all day and I'm not planning on leaving the house.

I'll pick out some pictures tomorrow and share them so you can pick one.

It's just that I know them, I watched them when I was growing up.

I haven't been on the forums much today. I tried to reply to a few posts but it got too much for me to focus with everything going on in my head.

I'm going to go to sleep so I'll chat to you tomorrow. Night.

Okay, goodnight @MissGremlin. Thank you for chatting and working on keeping safe with me.

I will be back tomorrow! 🫶

That's a really pretty heart @MissGremlin 😍. I look forward to seeing what picture you and AG pick next - I don't think there are any "wrong" options with this!

I also love Caspers back leg being on the cushion lol. Just like a knee-pillow for sleeping 😁😂