Battles

@MissGremlin I'm sorry that you feel alone this time of the year. I know all too well what that feels like. Last year, I spent Christmas alone. I lived in QLD and had friends, but they had their families. And it was complicated with my housemate. In spite of my efforts, our friendship had completely fallen apart by the time Christmas came around. My family lived at home in Tassie, and it was really really hard for me. I spent Christmas day in tears, and it was also the day I decided to go home.

Christmas is hard for me for different reasons this year. I'm home and I have my family, but there is so much tension in my family, it will be my first Christmas without my Grandad, and...it's difficult for me to look and further ahead than the next fortnight because...then I'll be unemployed and I'm scared of what could happen.

I'm also struggling a little with the fact that, people here on the forums won't be around.

Luna is good. She's asleep beside me. She gets up and lays on me every now and then reminding me that she hasn't had breakfast yet. She's a good girl. How is Casper?

Is it okay if I tag you over in my thread later...I want to talk about last night...to get it out of my head? But not until a little later in the day. I need to get some jobs done first.

@NightFury i hear you sweet. Christmas is hard for so many people in so many different ways. I'm glad this year you have your family but I understand that tension and it's the same for me this year. I know it's going to be hard without your grandad aswell as everything that's looming over your head with work.

I'm also so worried about not having certain people around on the forums. But know that I'll be around all the time so you are always welcome to tag me.

Awww gorgeous Luna, she's so precious. Casper stood on top of me to remind me that he hadn't had breakfast 😂. He is good though, happily chewing away on his goats horn.

Of course you can tag me in your thread sweet.

You're always welcome to tag me too, any time, but particularly over the Christmas period. @MissGremlin

Aaaw Casper, bless his cotton socks ❤️

I'm going to get moving on getting a few jobs done, so that I can rest this arvo. First job is to feed Luna and myself. Then shower and wash my dreadlocks.

I'll be around throughout the day, if you need/want to chat.

@NightFury thankyou sweet. We'll get through Christmas together, i know there's a few of us on the forums that are particularly struggling at this time of year.

You've got this sweet, feeding Luna and having something yourself is a great first step, then a shower to wash your dreadlocks.

My head is feeling fuzzy so I'm going to get a little bit of rest while I can. Will chat to you a little later ❤️

Hey! @MissGremlin 🫶

How are you today?

Hello @AuntGlow, I need an easier question 😂.

Honestly though I'm struggling, hearing voices, seeing things that aren't real, intense SI and SH urges (I'm safe), feeling dizzy and my tummy feels funny and feeling very emotional. I got 9 hours of sleep over last night and this morning which i haven't had in over a year but yet I still feel completely exhausted. Things just keep happening and it's frustrating cos it feels like one bad thing after another. I'm doing my best to keep myself distracted, right now that's just connecting here and trying to focus on other things.

How are you going?

Ah, I am sorry! haha @MissGremlin Hmm, what is Casper up to? 🤩

Oh, it sounds like there is so much going on in your mind and body right now... have you managed to connect with any of your supports?

I can really hear how hard you are trying to care for yourself, despite all that is going on - that takes so much courage.

Is connecting here helping you today?

I am well, thank you for asking, lovely. 🫶

@AuntGlow Casper is curled up on my bed now.

There really is so much going on and it's overwhelming. I've still connected with my friend but I have been cautious of what I'm sharing cos I don't want to lose them. But I don't really have anyone else at the moment which I'm struggling with. Things are feeling really big and loud in my body and mind right now and I've had several moments within the last couple of hours where I've felt like I've been right on the edge of acting on certain thoughts (I'm safe and yes i reached out to a crisis service). I've got myself into bed now with an iced coffee and Casper, hoping to do some of my colouring if I can. But I'm very much still spiralling at the moment so trying to find a way to slow that down or stop it all together. I've tried to do a grounding exercise but it wasn't successful, if anything I got more worked up cos I couldn't get it to work.

Connecting here helps and it often helps when I'm supporting someone else cos then I'm not so focused on what's going on in my head.

It sounds like you have soso much going on @MissGremlin know that I care about you. I just had to be a dork and share that.

Do you have plans for tomorrow?

@NightFury ahhh we both have so much going on. Hehe it made me smile you sharing that, so thankyou ❤️. I care about you too my sweet 😊.

Plans for tomorrow are, hmmm I'm not even sure. Think it might just be a rest day unless I have a sudden burst of energy 😂