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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Battles

Battles

Hi all, does anyone else just feel like life is just one big sh!t show? It's just one thing after another, constant drama, family issues, money struggles, stress, anxiety it's just always something.

When do things get easier, do things ever change?

I've been through more than i care to think about in my life but today has pushed me to breaking point and it's bringing up alot of bad memories of previous suicide attempts.

I just feel like it's not worth it, it's not worth fighting, not worth hanging on anymore.

13132 replies

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In response to: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin before i gotta head off, i wanna confirm that the dome is screwed on tight. and i've added a bunch of hidden magnets everywhere, in case you float in diff directions - it should be able to hold you down for a bit.

haha it's like, in the moment you almost believe that there's a glitch in the matrix cos how could a colour you were JUST using have disappeared like that!? but yes, ofc the lounge is the hidden culprit!! as if it hasn't had enough to gobble up hehe.

@MJG017 oo yes please do share your astronomy knowledge with us!! love learning about it. and that's such a cool projector!!! my sister had a cheap one from kmart, it just projected random stars on her ceiling, but the one you linked is waaay cooler.

ooo exciting!! enjoy visiting your sis. it's always nice having those lil similarities, and not having to explain it to each other.

good night to you both!! wish you both a restful and bright weekend 💙

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@rav3n ok let's hope this dome does its job tonight. Thanks for the chats as always ❤️.

I actually need to vacuum my lounge and I'm sure I'll find some hidden treasures when i do 😂.

Night night, hope you have a good weekend ☺️

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@rav3n i hate when you really need LL and you can't get through on the chat. Gah can these thoughts and urges just go away 😞

In response to: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin

It's great that this person seems to be helping you and willing to step in. It's so much for you to handle alone, so hopefully this person continues to take a bit of that strain off of you.

I don't know if this helps at all. Probably not. But does it help to think of the 17 years of abuse you suffered through from this person, as it happened in the past and reliving it in court doesn't change anything in the now? I know the prospect of reliving it, and even just telling people all about it must be terrifying, but keeping yourself in the present while doing it may help a little. Possibly. Maybe you could talk to this person about some advice on how to get through it, or if there any options for making it easier on you. Surely there's some things they can do. I'm sure a lot of people are confronted with having to relive a lot of trauma in court in from of their abuser, so you'd think there would be some ways they make it a bit easier. Like I said, I have no idea. Just some random thoughts.

I'm sure i will enjoy the catch up with my sister. She's the only biological relative i know know who still talks to me, so it means such a lot to me.

Since you asked so nicely... here's some interesting astronomy facts...

  • Neutron stars are insanely dense – A teaspoon of one would weight more than Mount Everest!
  • Black holes can ‘spaghettify’ You – If you fell into a black hole feet first, your feet end would be pulled by gravity so much more than your head end that you would be spaghettified.
  • There are more stars than grains of sand on all the beaches on Earth
  • Jupiter's red spot is a storm that's been going for 300 years.
  • Light from the sun takes 8 minutes to reach the Earth
  • Earth moved through space at 828,000km/h - when you factor our orbit around the Sun, the Sun’s orbit around the Milky Way, and the galaxy’s movement through the universe.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MJG017 well that's if she is willing to help, I haven't had a chance to speak to her about it yet.

We all know how great I am at keeping myself in the present moment 😂. The problem is it's not just in the past, it's still happening with this person. So anything that happens in court could have repercussions in things escalating further abuse wise. It's such a sh!t situation and one i wish I wasn't in.

I'm glad you still have contact with each other, really makes it so much more special cos she's the only one that you are connected to.

Oohh love the facts, that word spaghettified just makes me laugh 😂.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin

Oh, well hopefully she does agree to help you. It's seems a hell of a lot to deal with alone.

I certainly sounds like a complication situation, and I know you can't go into any details, I just hope that you can be free if it someday.

So you're as good as keeping yourself in the present as I am at letting people know how I'm feeling ... or resisting donuts! 😂

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MJG017 i just have to find the courage to ask, that's the hard part.

I hate that I can't go into details on here. I don't think I'll ever be free of it, well I mean there's that one way I will be.

Yes I would say that's a very accurate statement 😂. But hey who can resist donuts, they are yummy.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin

Try to find that courage to ask, if she doesn't offer. She can only say no, and I'm sure she would help if it was possible for her.

It must so frustrating to not be able to give any details at all but I know you have good reasons and you're just doing what you have to do. It doesn't mean we will try to support you any less though, so don't think that. I sincerely do hope you find that freedom, but in a good way so the you can enjoy it.

Yep, it puzzles me how anyone could resist a donut! I feel like a donut now! 😂

I need to get some sleep so I can be up and ready to leave about 10am. I hope you can get some sleep as well.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MJG017 I've been trying to sleep but my thoughts are too much for me right now. Trying to get support but I just keep getting pushed away, really ready to just give up.

I hope you can get some sleep and you enjoy tomorrow.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin

There must be so many thoughts swirly around that it's hard to even focus on which ones to worry about first. It's normal to want to give up, especially when dealing with them for so long. Unfortunately, I'm not sure giving up is something you know how to do. When you keep going for others, or yourself, you do find ways to keep going when so many of us would just throw up their arms. I'm not even sure if this is a compliment to you, more a reflection of how much sh1t you've had to deal with for so long. I think this is why if you were ever free of this enough to have more time and energy to helping more people, you would do an amazing amount of good. For the sake of all those people, and yourself or course, I hope you get that chance eventually.

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