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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Battles

Battles

Hi all, does anyone else just feel like life is just one big sh!t show? It's just one thing after another, constant drama, family issues, money struggles, stress, anxiety it's just always something.

When do things get easier, do things ever change?

I've been through more than i care to think about in my life but today has pushed me to breaking point and it's bringing up alot of bad memories of previous suicide attempts.

I just feel like it's not worth it, it's not worth fighting, not worth hanging on anymore.

13206 replies

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In response to: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin Oh really, so you weren’t able to get on? Perhaps they are still having some issues with their chat service. I know the one I used they had a text service if need be.

I can happily distract you if that will help or if you have chosen an activity?

Omg today was loose so nah didn’t get the chance. Still gripping the phone extra strongly so it doesn’t land on Indi’s head or my own 😆

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Chasingsunsets i got on and chatted for a while.

Happy for you to distract me, only if you are up for it of course.

Sounds like quite the day for you too. Hehe don't drop the phone on yours or Indis head. I don't know how many times my phone has attacked my face 😂.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin Oh that’s good sorry I misunderstood 🙈

Oh yeah all good here, I’m just chillin nearly had another leak event this time me leaving the kitchen tap running 😂😂. All good remembered in time to turn it off 🙊

I went for a walk with Indi tonight want to see a pic?

I’ll even go search for some frogs if you want to see some aswell hehe

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Chasingsunsets all good 😊.

Haha oh dear, lucky you remembered to turn it off.

I'd love to see a pic 😊.

Oh I wish I had frogs where I am. I wouldn't make you go hunting for them though, not at this time of night 😂.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin Haha I know right just my luck go flood the kitchen too lol!!

least I know that is clean water 😂

oh I’ll find one! I took many hehe

 

 

hehe the frogs will just be in my yard 🐸 I’ll have a Quick Look I like looking anyway haha. Nothing like seeing spiders eyes reflecting back at you though when you shine the torch 😂 only little ones otherwise I would not go outside at all 😂😂

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Chasingsunsets i reckon you just like playing with water 😂.

Awww Indi looks so happy 😊. Such a stunning background too 😍.

Haha the spiders eyes reflecting back at you, I get the same thing if I take Casper out to the toilet during the night. Oh you just reminded me of when i had a shower the other day and a white tail spider decided to join me, I was like nope sorry buddy not happening 😂.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin Yeah it seems like that doesn’t it 😂🙊

The interesting thing I like is the colours always change, sometimes you think nah won’t be a good one then gets a bit later and Mother Nature turns it on 😂

No frogs tonight lol will have to wait for a big more rain 🤪 or they are all out catching dinner hehe. Just had a brief look so could have had 5 staring at me 😂

Oh white tails yeah yuk no way and I’m the shower, way too close for comfort haha.

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Chasingsunsets yes i love when mother nature puts on a beautiful show 😊.

Hehe they were probably sitting there quietly hoping that you wouldn't see them 😂.

I much prefer to shower alone than with any creepy crawlies 😂.

What's your plans for tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin I agree such a treat especially when it’s a surprise and just comes from nowhere hey!

Yeah geez, spiders in the house no thankyou 😂. Immediate eviction always for them lol.

maybe one or two daddy long legs can stay 😂

I have a specialist appointment tomorrow, was meant to be my green light for my booked surgery in Dec. Already had it cancelled twice, I was feeling good about tomorrow appt until today. As another organ playing up which is just playing a dominos game atm. Was kind of going ok until today but then I noticed my resting heart rate has been elevated. I don’t normally wear my watch at night but I forgot to take it off and overnight it was well and truly above what it should be while sleeping so I’d say this organ is off again causing the heart rate 😬

I really hope the surgery won’t be cancelled. Wearing my watch tonight to see if it’s any better 🤞🤞🤞

Whats your plans tomorrow?

In response to: Re: Battles

Re: Battles

@Chasingsunsets yes it definitely is.

I usually try to get them outside safely but there's those few spiders that just don't stand a chance especially if they startle me 😂.

Well i hope the appointment goes ok tomorrow so that the surgery can go ahead. Hopefully it was just a once off last night and doesn't do it again tonight. I have inappropriate sinus tachycardia aswell as an undiagnosed heart condition cos they haven't been able to work out what's causing it yet. My heart rate sometimes plays up and will sit at 180bpm for days at a time, often spiking to over 200bpm, which is really not a nice feeling, it's landed me in hospital quite a few times.

Tomorrow i still need to make those phone calls as I didn't do it today. Other than that I don't have anything on.

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