Battles

@AuntGlow things have been very up and down today. Nothings made me smile lately. Things are really dark right now, just trying to get through each moment.

That's okay, you're allowed to be exactly where you're at. I just asked Bow this: can you notice one feeling or sensation in your body that feels less heavy than the others right now?

It can be helpful to look at this when things are feeling overwhelming, just small pockets of less distress or tension. Does that make sense? @NightFury 💛

hey @MissGremlin hearing you, i can see you're pushing through the best you can. glad you're reaching out to a helpline too. 💜

makes a lot of sense to want that security, especially in today's economy! i can see there's a lot of pressure riding on this, please do take care and remember it will be okay @NightFury are there other roles that you're applying for too?

i really do hope you get this role, as i know it'll mean a lot in terms of financial security and i'm also sure you'll make a wonderful kindergarten teacher. at the same time, please know that if you don't get the role - there's other options, there's still 5 months to find another role (and i wonder if maybe they might extend your contract later on?)

@AuntGlow @Thought I can jump in as well but for me at the moment, idk if I can notice one feeling or sensation in my body that feels “less” heavy right now. The feelings I’m still feeling in my body are still heavy cause of the IBS related symptoms but the pains of that have lessened the moment I started coming back to taking the IBS supplements again….but I can still feel a bit of the symptoms…. So….

@rav3n @AuntGlow at this moment I feel that life really has no purpose for me right now because of my past experiences with….well being unable to connect with people in real life and having friends but yeah idk what else to say right now

@AuntGlow not sure if you meant to tag me in this or not?

@AuntGlow I have my woodheater going, the warmth is soothing. I'm also wrapped in my weighted blanket and that feel kinda grounding and soothing too.

@rav3n I haven't applied for any other positions. This is the first that's come up.

I don't know if they'll extend my contract and that's a guarantee they can't give me. My future is kind of up in the air and it's...a really hard place to sit with my anxiety. The uncertainty is a trigger.

I've just finished a chat with Beyond Blue...I'm not sure how I'm feeling now.

I was!! Silly me. I was also replying to @NightFury! So sorry @MissGremlin. 💕

Thank you for contributing too @Blackcloud 💛

@AuntGlow it makes sense but honestly everything feels so heavy right now. At the moment it's just a massive pressure build up that i can't release safely. My chest feels so tight and its like every breath is such an effort and like I have to remind myself to take a breath. Trying to relax my body cos everything feels so tense but I only get a short relief for not even a minute before everything gets all tense again. I don't want to feel anything right now, i want to be numb it would be so much better to feel nothing than feeling everything all at once.

I'm trying to slow things right down.