Battles

@Jynxfor real 😂. I hate when everything gets so overwhelming and you get that whole sensory overload. Like even the slightest noise or feeling can send me into a meltdown.

Existing is expensive 😂. I never got the green laser, like why people 😂. It's one of those things that just irks me.

It's up and ran away on me, that motivation needs to be chained down so it can't take off 😂.

@Jynx before you run away for the night can I have some hugs pretty please?

@MissGremlin 😋🤗

🫂🫂🫂

Hehe oodles of toodles @MissGremlin @Blackcloud sweet dreamy dreams, may your black clouds have silver linings! Hehehe Night you two!

Thanks @Jynx ♥️.

Hehe love it, night night ♥️

Late night poetry strikes again, so here goes.

Into the darkness I step, here lie the secrets that I've kept.

My heart it aches to be loved, instead I just get pushed and shoved.

This life has become too much to stand, and noones there to take my hand.

I'm sorry for the pain I've caused, that's why now I chose to close the doors.

I'm locking myself away, I won't again see the light of day.

@Jynx @rav3n @Ru-bee @AuntGlow

@Ru-bee poetry used to be something that I did when I was younger but very much different to this. Things used to be happy and light but this is dark and heavy. Lately I've just had lines coming in bits and pieces but I've been trying to concentrate more and actually focusing on creating a poem rather than just writing down random lines. Not sure how helpful it is as such but I guess it's an outlet to get what's in my head out. Not sure how much sense that makes as my brain feels pretty fried at the moment.

Morning @MissGremlin

Stopping by to check in and see how things are for you this morning.

I also wanna say...

I'm still here for you.

I um...this is hard to say, so I'm trying my best....I have a lot of issues around getting close to people, opening up and then having them leave. When they leave, I'm left to deal with things on my own and it usually involves a huge crash. So...as soon as I start to open up and I get a sense that something is going to go wrong, then I withdraw. Everyone always leaves. I'm not enough to keep people in my life. Maybe I don't deserve support from others? Maybe I'm supposed to just do it alone?

But as I said, previously, it's not something that is fair to put on you. I want to reiterate you did nothing wrong in taking care of your needs and doing what you need to do to keep yourself safe. I just....I want to explain where I sit with it and what happens for me when it comes up and why I've been quiet here in this thread. It's something that stirs up a big reaction from me - even more so at the moment because the only person I can reach out to in my life, the only friend I do have is leaving for Scotland in a couple of weeks.

But I'm going to try and do better!

Morning @NightFury, it's been a rough night but I've made it through.

Thankyou ♥️.

My sweet i completely understand the feeling cos it's the exact same for me. Which is even more of a reason as to why I'm so angry and frustrated at myself for not being here for you when you needed me. I really can't apologise enough for not being here but I am so so sorry, I truly am. You definitely deserve support and you aren't meant to do it alone but I understand the thinking and feeling behind it.

Thankyou for explaining to me and I'm so sorry for how I've made you feel. It's not just you I let down it was others aswell and you don't know how guilty I feel for it. I'm sorry to hear that your friend is leaving, are they going on holiday and coming back or moving there?

I am here for you and you are welcome to tag me anytime, I'm not going anywhere. I truly am sorry again sweet.

@MissGremlin thank you for sharing.

She's coming back, but will be gone for months. She's from Scotland, so she's going home to visit her family.

I want to reply better than this, but kinda swimming in some big emotions right now.

❤️

@NightFury I'm glad she is coming back but I know her being gone for a long time will be hard.

I'm here with you, I'm also swamped by big emotions right now. So let's just sit together and get through this moment ♥️