Battles

@AuntGlow i don't think i can. There's many posts on here that I wish I could save, things that have made me smile.

@AuntGlow @MissGremlin

They make my day, every day.

I had a student today fall over on a patch of slippery floor, from a mess that he made, with blue paint in his hands. He got up, brushed himself off and said..."look, I'm a smurf!" He had paint everywhere.

@NightFury haha that's hilarious 😂.

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@NightFury wrote:

@AuntGlow @MissGremlin

They make my day, every day.

I had a student today fall over on a patch of slippery floor, from a mess that he made, with blue paint in his hands. He got up, brushed himself off and said..."look, I'm a smurf!" He had paint everywhere.

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@NightFury If I was a kid in that class, he would be the one I would have wanted to hang out with.

Hello @rav3n, how are you going today?

I'm feeling a little triggered after just finishing my appointment with my counsellor so trying to focus on some self care activities and distractions.

Hello @MJG017, what's your day been like so far?

It's been so cold, wet and windy and it's honestly perfect weather to curl up on the lounge and watch TV shows or movies. Well that's what I've been doing with Casper snuggled up by my side 😊

Hello @NightFury, just checking in with you.

I hope today has been ok for you so far ❤️

Hi @MissGremlin

My day has pretty much been the same as yours... trying not to look or listen to the weather outside while just trying to stay cozy.
Sorry to read you're feeling a bit triggered after your appointment today. I do kind of feel like for me that's part of it. You know, having to talk about stuff you wish you didn't have to deal with... it's always going to be a little (or a lot) triggering. I guess we just have to trust, or hope, that it does get easier. As hard as some of my sessions have been emotionally and mentally, I try to remind myself that it would be even worse if I didn't have someone like that to talk to about it. Sometimes it's hard to see it that way though. Or that feeling of I should be able to do it on my own. How do you slap some sense into a brain?!

@MJG017 the weather has been crazy. I'm avoiding going outside as much as I can but I do have to go to the shops later being that I didn't get what I needed yesterday cos of what happened.

It's so hard to talk about the traumas but today also gave me a good chance to talk about the intense thoughts and urges I've been having (yes i trusted her enough to open up about it). I was going to be talking to my doctor about it yesterday but when that appointment was cancelled I was worried about not being able to talk to someone about them, so today i took that step and opened up. It felt scary to talk about and even now I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach and thinking did I do the right thing, am I going to be in trouble, what do they think of me, what's going to happen now etc. I've recognised too many red flags of how things were last time prior to previous attempts and that they are so similar to now and some things are even worse, I'm trying hard to get support before it gets to that point again. So today is hopefully a step in the right direction and accepting that I need support to try and get through this. Downside is that my next appointment with her isn't until 22th July cos she is going away, I think that scares me cos I've got nothing in between to safe guard myself or to focus on making it until.

As far as slapping some sense into the brain, I feel like that's another one of those things like where's that magic off switch. Does it exist, is it possible 😂.

@MissGremlin

It's definitely scary opening up like that to someone. Wondering about what they think and all the worry that comes with it. But you did so well to even talk about it, so take that as a big win today! I think it can only help you in the long term.

As for the red flags, well you would know those for yourself better than anyone. Even if you feel some of them are worse now, there are things that are better now. You recognise the signs now pretty well, you know what to do when you start feeling them. Even how to get through when those plans and/or resources fail you. In the time we've chatted here, I can definitely see a lot of changes in how you cope with everything. I know it probably hasn't gotten a lot easier to deal with, and i'm in no way trying to dismiss or minimise those times when you really struggle... i know it's still really difficult. But I do think you have more 'tools' to get through now.

The 22nd is a month away, and it feel like a long time. I know the past month for be between appointment (my next is on Thursday) has felt very long. But you have here and you have Casper and all the stuff you do to keep yourself distracted. So while I know it's all too easy to constantly worry about the bad things, i think there are some positive changes you have now to help you. Not that it erases the bad things, but I just find it tends to amplify them if it's all we focus on.