Battles

@Bunniekins I'm not able to say. I can't lose this space.

Thankyou @AuntGlow ❤️

But what do you do when they won't step aside, when you just can't shake them no matter what you try?

I didn't need this, not now.

I'm having to sit in a room full of noisy people, children running around, loud noises and it's cold. Yes I've got Casper with me and he is laying with me but I'm feeling so overwhelmed and on edge.

On a happy note, Casper's vest arrived today ❤️

@MissGremlin okay hun. know that you are loved by so many people on this forum and are a valued member of the sane community xxx

Thankyou @Bunniekins ❤️. That's why this hurts so much cos this community means the world to me.

Thankyou @Cuddlebear. Sorry I didn't reply to this, I somehow missed it.

I managed to shower, I had it nice and hot so it was relaxing. I'm so glad the day is almost over but I do worry what the night may bring.

I don't understand why there's not more support available for you to help with finding housing, it seems very unfair. I hope the rest of your day was ok. Sending you hugs ♥️

@MissGremlin Oooh I’m so glad you had a shower. I had one too today and am glad I did.

Here we are now in the evening time. We’re clean and I’m hoping you are snuggled near Caspar. I’m snuggled with Wilbur who’s given me quite a few big sloppy kisses.

What I’ve learned is that all the talk by politicians about housing and homelessness is just utter nonsense. It’s obvious they truly do not care and they are nice and comfy in their posh homes and substantial pay packets. Local housing crisis points couldn’t give a toss and staff are judgemental and zero empathy. None of them have any idea or clue and whoever employs people with that sort of attitude is a total loser. Truth is there’s not enough $$$ to fund crisis accomodation and if you have disabilities there’s no actual help. All we are to them is a number on their file. They don’t even have referrals they can make and zero mental health or trauma informed approaches.

Im hoping the night will bring some peace for you and I truly want these forums to be a safe and welcoming place for you. I also hope you are able to get some good restful sleep.

Im not sure if I mentioned that sleep study can be done in your own home. They come and put all the cord things on you and a device collects the data of your brain waves. Public health sleep studies also can do from home. I go into the sleep centre part of the hospital but I have my seeing guide dog with me. We arrive at 8pm and we are in our own room. He is my seeing guide dog but he gives me so much emotional support too. I’m back there at the end of this month. I have restless leg syndrome, sleep paralysis and I don’t have any REM sleep. I also have narcolepsy and hitch is scary. I also thrash about in my sleep and hurt myself while I’m actually asleep. It’s unsafe for a human to sleep next to me. It’s all mental illness they say. They are trying to figure out what to do. This will be my third sleep study. Have you had insomnia a long time?

Hey @Cuddlebear , thanks for sharing your insights and also about the sleep test. It's good to know.

Hope you are doing well. Thanks for popping in.

Hey @MissGremlin and others following along.

@MissGremlin That's a really good question. The answer is often to drop into something that helps you feel safe. If that isn't possible, it may be helpful to remind yourself that your body is having a familiar reaction, and that it's coming from a very strong muscle (the fight/flight response). So, it may take some time to build these newer muscles (the ability to regulate), and that's okay.

Maybe this is when you can come here and practice building that muscle, like you have been? (That's kind of the recovery-focus we have been harpin' on about!).

But please know that I KNOW it isn't simple. When your body takes over, and your thoughts are racing, it can feel like no other option exists. But I promise things can change... we will keep workshopping ideas that work for you. I am chatting a lot about RAIN tonight. Are you familiar with this concept?

Also, can you remind me if you have a therapist at the moment?

Awww, so happy to hear about his vest - is there a picture floating around anywhere? 🤩

I'm sorry @AuntGlow, I can't even read this now. Everything is too much for me right now. I just can't deal with anything, I want to completely shut down.

I don't know what to do right now, I'm waiting to get through to lifeline. I'm sick of my body being in this state and it just seems to be getting worse.

I am glad you are turning to your safety plan, this is really wonderful work. 💕 @MissGremlin (See? You're doing the hard thing already!)

I promise you will be okay. We are all here for you.

I will be back tomorrow morning, and I will check-in then. How does that sound?