Battles

@AuntGlow i do try to challenge my thoughts and feelings but with very little success if any at all. Then I find the more I try the worse things get which just leads to me getting angry and frustrated at myself then one thing leads to another and well it's not pretty.

The question is what colours aren't i using 😂. I mean other than the boring browns, greys, black etc. I mean don't get me wrong they have a place but not in this picture.

That survival mode is strong tonight and it's rather exhausting to sit with. I've got services and numbers written down with me at all times cos I know how intense things have been since last night and I'm not taking any chances. Don't worry I'm safe for the moment and I'm trying hard to keep it that way but I'm making sure I'm prepared for that just in case scenario.

Hoping once I can sleep i just crash it for many hours rather than waking up every 10-20 minutes.

@MissGremlin Oh, completely understandable! It's a journey and certainly a frustrating one at that. I think every small moment you can allow yourself to feel without attaching is a win. (Something I am reminding myself too!)

hahaha I love this! A colourful picture... what is it of tonight?

I am glad to hear you have your safety plan; this is really reassuring to know.

Yes, I hope that you get a full night of rest too.

I will be leaving soon, but will make sure to check-in the next time I am here, okay? 💛

@AuntGlow definitely a very frustrating journey. Life is a constant learning curve, just when you think you have things figured out there's something else to work out.

Still working on the fishies, haven't been able to do much so I'm really only doing one a day if that and there's 21 on the picture.

Really would like to actually properly do a safety plan if possible at some stage. Having mine that really only consists of me reaching out is rather annoying, i would like to be able to add some more things to it. Just really need some help to try and go through it.

It would be nice to get a full night's sleep but that's very unlikely for me but I'd settle for just a few hours of solid sleep without waking up.

I hope you have a good night and thankyou for your support. I do look forward to chatting again when you are on next ♥️

@MissGremlin Absolutely! We can do that. Is there anyone you'd like to work on the plan with specifically?

Thank you - me too! I can see all of the hard work you are putting in to support yourself and others, it never goes unnoticed.

Sleep well. 💗

@AuntGlow I'm not really fussed with who I go through it with. I mean there is one person I have clicked with initially and who I've opened up with the most about things but im just happy to have help from anyone really.

Thankyou for the kind words, I'm trying my best but there's always going to be bumps in the road.

Night night ❤️

Hello @NightFury, how are you feeling today?

Morning @MissGremlin...

I am doing okay.

How are you? How's that beautiful doggo of yours doing?

@NightFury glad you are doing okay.

I'm feeling a bit out of sorts today. Casper seems to be doing better tummy wise, he has had 2 solid bowel movements in the past 12 hours so fingers crossed we are past the runs now. The other issue is still ongoing though which is concerning.

@MissGremlin I'm at work and it's stressful, so I'm just trying to do my best and hold my regulation in check.

Glad that his little tummy is feeling better. Puppy's can be so fickle with their stomachs and can easily get upset bellies.

@NightFury deep breaths, you've got this ❤️

Just hard when he hasn't had anything different to upset it.