Battles

I can picture that super clearly, I love the analogy.

But @rav3n it's not even proper winter yet.

@rav3n haha yes. Layer upon layer 😂. At the moment I'm toasty and warm as I've been doing things but come bedtime I'll have my pjs on and my oodie dressing gown and I'll probably still be cold, I'll just have to snuggle with Casper to keep warm.

I'm making veggie soup, nothing fancy. It's got sweet potato, onion, carrots, celery and parsnip in it. Think I've kind of been delaying it cos it's something my mother would make for me so it's kind of bitter-sweet making it. I got the ingredients but just haven't been able to bring myself to make it.

I just got really triggered by a thread, i shouldn't have continued reading past the first bit but I did. The thing is it's brought up things that I've been through that I've never spoken a word about, not to anyone. I wanted to comment on it but unfortunately safety would be compromised if I did. Feel so sick at the moment cos it's just rehashed all the trauma and memories.

@MissGremlin it's a really complex environment this forum life...

It's so hard to know what to engage with, where to open up, where to trust, and sometimes how to help people especially when you're not feeling fantastic.

Then there's the anxiety about something you say having an impact on others, and for me...a lot of anxiety about getting in trouble because I've breached the guidelines or because of my posts. The fear of losing this place and the support and the connections that it gives and that I need is a real thing as well.

Then there's navigating the things that could be triggers and knowing when to step back and take care of you. It's tricky and I've certainly come across similar experiences Dreamy.

It nuanced and complex.

@NightFury yeah I'm usually ok, like I can get triggered easily because I can relate to things but it's never normally too bad. But the thread i was reading hit home all too much and it's things I'll take to the grave in that I'll never tell anyone no matter what. Yes it haunts me, yes I wish I had spoken about it but it's too late now and it wouldn't change anything if I did. So it's better left buried deep within, even if it eats me from inside.

The anxiety of losing this space especially cos it's already happened before is massive for me. Like this is the only support I have, there is literally nothing else. So I really do understand your fear there aswell.

I just wanted to offer my support to this person but yeah I can't cos that would be acknowledging things and that I can't do.

@MissGremlin lucky you got Casper to snuggle up to too!!

ooo vegie soup would be so nice for this weather!! oh yep that makes a lot of sense too, it's so interesting how certain foods hold so much memory too.

i'm so sorry to hear about the thread, and very fair that you didn't comment - your safety comes first always. take some slow breaths, we're here for you. sending you gentle hugs 💙

@rav3n yeah, it's lucky he enjoys a snuggle.

It's a very yummy soup and i do enjoy it. It's interesting and can be very frustrating at the same time. Hoping i can make it tomorrow if i have the energy.

It's a person I already support but had never stumbled upon that specific thread so it just makes me want to give them even more love and support cos my heart just breaks for them. I took some time to do my teeth, brush my hair and put it in a plait and I got my pjs on.

Thankyou and those hugs are very much needed ♥️.

@NightFury so true, i am not physically or mentally ready to take on the real winter weather 🙃

also about the guidelines - i just want to reassure you that 1. it would take a VERY serious breach to be banned from this space (and you'd also be sent a couple warnings of a potential ban before we do it) plus it's super rare that it happens. 2. guideline breaches are quite common, us mods know that sometimes people might be in distress or might not be familiar with the guidelines and that's okay - that's why we're around to edit/block posts - and it might seem scary when we do it, but we're never coming from a place of anger or annoyance. we are here to support you with your posting and keep the community safe. and if you say the wrong thing, it's okay, we'll fix it up or encourage you to repost - we do not hold this against you!! we all stuff up (even us mods are imperfect!)

@rav3n thank you for clarifying. Logically I think I know, but anxiety brain is a thing. My anxiety brain latches onto the things that are important to me and creates 10000 ways of me potentially losing that thing.

@rav3n @AuntGlow i can't talk right now, but sit with me please?

Of course @MissGremlin - what are we doing while sat together tonight? ☺️💛