Battles

All good @NightFury.

Thanks. I hope your day goes smoothly 😊

@MissGremlin

You're definitely not in the wrong for speaking up. I know it's not easy and you really shouldn't have to in that situation. I really don't understand how these people can not understand the very basics of such a role.

I get that they may find your situation challenging to help with, but that's what they signed up for! It's a crisis line... chances areevery once in a while you'll talk to someone who is in... you know... crisis!

Maybe next time you need to call, maybe you could start by putting them at ease a bit. I know it's totally unfair on you and is definitely not something you should even have to think of doing, but... what else is new! Just start by saying that you've experienced this for quite a while, you've tried so many things and right now you just need someone to talk to for a while, if even it's just to listen.

But like I said, I know in no way should this be up to you to say... nor should you need to. But if it helps them to help you then maybe it would help.

I'm just sorry they've put you in this situation in the first place. It's the people hurting the most who need support the most, so of course you are worth helping. I think the fact they have you feeling that, is a massive problem for that service.

I just asked Luna, she agrees with me completely. And I'm sure it has nothing to do with the bag of treats in my hand.

@MJG017 I just don't understand why I'm constantly put in that situation where I'm made to feel like that. It's not always possible to call, especially when I'm finding it hard to talk while having a panic attack. It's just really sad because now that it's happened so many times, I'm done with reaching out. It's gotten to that point that reaching out isn't a thought that's crossing my mind, even when it's really necessary. So the crisis lines have really failed me for the last time, a time when it was crucial that I had help and support.

Cuddles to Luna, she wouldn't be food orientated at all would she? 😂

@MissGremlin

It's really sad that they've failed you like this. Anyone in a similar situation would feel the same. It happens once or twice and you think maybe I was just unlucky. When it becomes a pattern well of course anyone is going to feel unsafe using that service. Which is sort of the exact opposite point of them! I guess it helps to keep the number of calls down. Who knows?! It's just clear that they aren't helping you with us wrong on more than one level.

@MJG017 it's even worse that every other service i can't reach out to so now I quite literally have noone. And the thing is this service knows that, I've told them that I can't contact the others and yet they still treated me like this. So tell me how I'm not supposed to feel like I shouldn't be here, that i just don't matter and that i don't deserve to or can't be helped.

@MissGremlin

It completely sucks and is so unfair. Of course you are going to feel the way you do. That's is completely fair. But (you know I had a but) just because they've treated you like they have doesn't mean that you don't matter and you shouldn't be here. Both of those are 100% not true. Not that it helps you to get the support you need when you need it. Which is really the most important thing here.

Is there anything we could come up with to help you when you have these attacks? I know you've tried so much but maybe between all of us here we can think of something outside the box.

@MJG017 i really don't know. I feel like I've tried everything possible. Today has been so bad since the second I woke up and I've tried so many things to try to bring myself out of this state but nothing is working. I've done dishes, listened to music, folded clothes, watched TV, played games on my phone, tried to do some colouring, went for a walk outside, played with Casper, went for a drive, splashed cold water on my face. I've been awake since 5am and I've only had 3 hours of very broken sleep so I'm exhausted and every part of me wants to give up.

Hey @MissGremlin

I'm hearing how much you're fighting today, the fact that you're pulling out all those tools out of your tool box shows real resilience. It sucks when it feels like nothing's working, but like I know you've done in the past, some days we just gotta take it second by second. Maybe we need to cycle through our tools again, and maybe another time after that.

It really sounds like today is just about getting through, and we know you can do it like you've done it before. Your cheerleader is back - Go Dreamy, Go!

And if things do get really serious today you can reach out to us and we can talk about immediate supports, okay?

Hi @Ru-bee I've been trying over and over again. The more I try the more frustrated I'm getting. I just want something to work, even just for a few minutes, long enough to catch my breath.

@MissGremlin

There doesn't seem to be any shortage of things you're doing to keep yourself occupied. The issue may be that they're all relatively short tasks. So maybe you're not getting a long enough mental break from the stress to lower it. So are there things you could do that take a lot longer. I know you do the colouring which must take so long with how they look, but are there other things that take a while that you could just get lost in doing?