Battles

@Ru-bee It’s saying that the service is unable to connect me at this time so i can't.

Thanks for your support today. Hope you have a good night ❤️

@Jynx you around?

As around as I can be @MissGremlin sorry to hear about stuff being rough for ya with this service, have you tried any others yet tonight?

@Jynx I've tried others today. Kind of given up right now and just really trying to keep myself distracted. Just feel like I'm floating away and that I'm going to disappear.

@MissGremlin aww hun, that's hard. Some grounding or distractions might help? Where's your colouring at?

@Jynx I've barely done any colouring lately. I've had a picture going for the past 5 or 6 days and I've only done a tiny bit of it. I literally just sit staring at it unable to pick up a pencil to actually do anything. I've been trying to keep myself grounded but I'm really having a hard time doing so.

@MissGremlin can be very tricky indeed hun. What have you been finding helpful in staying grounded lately?

@Jynx there really isn't anything. I try everything possible and I try over and over again. Cleaning, crafts, colouring or drawing, watching a TV show or movie, reading quotes, listening to music, breathing exercises, grounding techniques, playing with fidget toys, doing a puzzle, playing games on my phone, going for a walk, having a shower, having something to eat or drink. This is literally all through the day that I bounce from activity to activity just trying to stay grounded and keep myself distracted. Not only am I exhausted from trying to fight myself but I get so angry and frustrated at myself

TW: Self-Harm

I am hearing your frustration @MissGremlin it is sounding very overwhelming for you at the moment. The bouncing around also sounds pretty exhausting, what do you do when you need to slow down and spend some time resting?

@Jynx i can't rest. Resting means letting my guard down which at the moment isn't safe. Even losing focus for a moment results in bad things happening so I can't stop fighting myself, i can't rest, i can't allow myself to lose focus not even for a second. Today has been a hard day where I've lost control many times but luckily I've managed to stop myself before things have gone too far, don't ask me how cos that I'm not even sure of.