Battles

I'm feeling so much at the moment, frustration, sadness, hurt, guilt, anger. It's alot to be sitting with and it's hard to know where to start to try to work through calming things. I really need to be able to sleep, i feel sick and I'm shaky cos I haven't slept. I can't even take anything to help with the nausea cos I don't trust myself with medications with where my thoughts are sitting. That urge to rely on an unhealthy coping strategy is so strong with how things are feeling.

I've tried everything to try to settle, to try to allow my body to rest but it's not working. I've done my diamond art, I've watched my TV shows, listened to music, played games, watched videos, patted Casper, talked to a crisis service, had something to drink, walked around my house, went outside. I have no more energy to do anything, I feel defeated and like giving up.

I'm safe for now even when I don't feel it, I'm snuggled with Casper in bed. I just needed to get things out.

Hey there @MissGremlin,

I hear how challenging tonight has been for you, and that you are sitting with such a mix of different emotions and intense thoughts whilst also trying to get some sleep. Not being able to sleep would be really difficult, and I can hear how much effort you've put into trying different coping strategies tonight.

I'm glad to hear that you are currently safe and want to acknowledge how hard you're working to resist the urges, despite the intensity. I encourage you to seek some additional one-on-one support tonight from a crisis service (such as Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636) if the thoughts start to feel louder or you need some support to cope. You don't have to sit with this all on your own and are deserving of care & support 💛

The community & Casper are here for you, and I hope get some restful sleep soon🌻

-pinkbutterfly

Hello @pinkbutterfly, it's so hard when I put in so much effort but nothing works, it's really disheartening and I feel like a failure.

I'll reach out to a crisis service if I feel I need to, just trying to do my best to cope without them at the moment.

Thankyou for your kind words and for being here ❤️.