Battles

Hello @Flutterbug9 sweet, i know the tagging issues are having a huge impact on how we can connect with people here. I respect your decision to step away until it's fixed, just know I'm still always here for you though and you're welcome to tag me anytime.

I know how hard it is to have dreams/nightmares every night and how much an impact it has on your sleep and ability to then function. I'm glad the psychiatrist will be ringing you today and I hope there's maybe a way of getting some relief so you can get some much needed rest.

I can relate to that feeling all too well, it's hard to find a reason to want to exist when there's so much going on and we aren't catching a break. Try to remind yourself that this is only temporary a speed bump in the road, medications take time to work and sometimes need to be adjusted in order to find the right balance. I hope things start to get easier for you soon sweetheart, sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️.

Thanks for your kind words @MissGremlin

psychiatrist has said unfortunately with my new med it’s trial and error as it’s known the med affects different people differently, including the side effects. First step of investigation to try to get my meds sorted out is, as of tomorrow I return to the same dosage of my morning med as I’ve been on for few yrs (ie prior to starting the new one). As psychiatrist said on the phone, fingers crossed that stops the dreams/nightmares. If not, when we do brief med check in a week I will have to stop the new med and psychiatrist will consider other option/s.

what pxxses me off with the tagging is my post on Silent Battles thread from2 days ago, no one even knows it’s there.

very early night as I’m exhausted. I’m not just seeing weird, scary things in my sleep, I remembering every detail the following day. Content of things I’m seeing in my dreams are gradually getting worse ie more and more scary. In almost 2 weeks I’ve had 1 night no dreams and 1 night my distorted dream involved my childhood still being in the very poor condition it was when I was a child and has been converted into rescue centre for elderly cats, kittens plus street cats. The things I’m seeing in my sleep are draining my energy and leaving me feel very tired for most of the day.

thanks for being there today, listening and the hugs. Sending lots of hugs to both you and Casper

@Flutterbug9 that's really tough when it's a side effect of medications, I hope you can get it sorted with the adjustment soon sweet. I'm glad you've got another med check-in in a week.

I'm sorry noone has seen your post, I've been doing my best to remember names of threads I'd previously subscribed to so I can follow how people are going. Things are finally showing again now in favourites/subscriptions so I'll be able to get back to keeping up with things.

Oh my sweet, I completely understand just how hard it is as this is what happens to me even days/weeks after, it's just horrible and takes everything out of you. I'm finally on a medication that's hopefully going to reduce the nightmares for me but we're still trying to find a dose that works at this stage. I'm truly hoping you can get some relief from them soon.

You're so welcome sweet, always happy to be here for you. Thankyou for the hugs for both of us ❤️.

So it's 3.45am and I've only just gotten in to bed, I'm not tired but I was getting too cold sitting in the loungeroom and I couldn't stop shaking. I got out a new diamond art to start after finishing the last one but I sat there for almost 2 hours just completely zoned out, I can't even remember anything, it's all blank. Mentally I'm exhausted, physically I'm sore but not tired which makes it so hard to rest, to allow both my brain and body a chance to recover. Not getting sleep is taking a huge toll on my thinking, the hearing things and hallucinations and the ability to remain in control and try to tell myself that it's not real. I feel like I've done all I can tonight to seek support and to maintain my safety but still I'm laying here with thoughts/urges, nothing's made it even just a little easier to cope with.

I'm finding myself questioning if there's a way to move past this and if so how when I can't get support. Can my life truly be better than what it is, or is this it, is this how I'm going to be stuck. This isn't short term this is chronic, it's every second of everyday, there's no chance to just breathe, to have some relief. Anyway this is just some of what's going through my head as I lay here wanting to sleep, wanting to have peace just for a while so that I can find the strength to fight all over again tomorrow. I'm safe for now, snuggled up in bed with Casper listening to music quietly playing on my phone.

@MissGremlin @AuntGlow @Jynx Are you guys around tonight?

Hello @NightFury my sweet, I'm around ❤️

The tears won't stop tonight @MissGremlin. I've had a horrible day. I worked from home this morning because I was supposed to have a house inspection, only it didn't happen. I cleaned and mowed all weekend and organised my work schedule so I could be at home for Luna during the inspection. Then I got in my car to go into the office this arvo and drove two minutes down the road and my car literally stopped in the middle of the road on a blind corner. I stood in the middle of the road with my hazard lights on having a meltdown.

People driving past stopped to ask me whether I needed help and my response, "I don't know. I don't know what I need. I don't know what to do." A man helped me push it off the road. It took me an hour to get through to roadside, then another 20 minutes waiting in the cold. They had tow my car.

My Dad took me down to the mechanics and worst case scenario, it needs a new engine and could cost a small fortune. A small fortune that I don't have.

@NightFury oh my sweet, it's been a very full on day for you. I'm sorry the inspection didn't happen, I know how hard that is when you've worked so hard to get everything done. Having car issues sucks, I'm glad that someone stopped to help you push it off the road, I'm hoping it's not needing a new engine but rather something that's not overly expensive or hard to fix.

I'm sending you so much love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

I feel overwhelmed with it all right now @MissGremlin 

Oh my goodness, I am so sorry you have been through such an overwhelming day. Stopping in the middle of the road is genuinely so overwhelming, so know that how you are feeling makes perfect sense. I would have felt the same.

I am so glad to hear that someone was there to support you and that dad was able to show up as well.

Even so, you're allowed to cry and express all that you are feeling, it's a lot for your nervou system to adjust to in one day. @NightFury

What can we do to be there for you tonight? 💛