Battles

Heading to sleep shortly @MissGremlin, thinking of you big hugs to you both from Indi and I. Take care 🙏

@Chasingsunsets sorry sweet. I fell asleep, it was a big day full of so many heavy feelings, thoughts and emotions. Thankyou for the hugs ❤️. Hope both you and Indi are getting a good night's sleep.

Thankyou @AuntGlow sweet. I'm sorry i crashed it early last night, my mind and body are completely exhausted.

I'm always saying things like 'we're going to get through this together', 'one tiny baby step at a time and it's going to be ok', 'we deserve to be here even when we're a mess' etc. I can believe those things for others but not for myself.

Sounds like a very big week, hoping the performing all went well and that the assessments go smoothly for you.

Casper and I would have been snuggled up together just like we are now.

Things really got too much before and I was struggling with my thoughts and urges being so strong. I wanted to reach out to a crisis service but I was fighting myself to do so cos of the fear of being let down. Things kept building though and it was getting scary, I managed to reach out to a crisis service. It was going ok, the person was understanding and compassionate but then my brain just flipped a switch, it was like I couldn't accept the support they were offering. So many times I've reached out and been let down, when all I've wanted is to be heard and to not feel alone in those moments but then when someone does take the time to listen and brain shuts it down.

I don't know what's wrong with me, my brain is messed up, I'm messed up. I don't like my thoughts, they are exhausting to try to fight and I'm not even sure what I'm fighting them for.

I've been trying to not think about today and I thought I'd be ok but then it just all hit hard out of nowhere. Things shouldn't be like this but I messed everything up and I can't fix it no matter how hard i try.

I'm safe for now and laying in bed with Casper. I'm going to close my eyes for a bit to try to rest but the thought going through my head is that I don't want to wake up again.

Hey @MissGremlin, what are you up to? Didn’t get to bed until later than planned so a bit tired today. Indi is okay but I’ll have to take her to the vets tomorrow she can’t remove the nail herself this time 😔. I have a medicine that’s an antibiotic and numbing stuff combined on it and all wrapped so can wait until tomorrow which is good.

Hello @Chasingsunsets sweet, I'm still laying in bed. Oh poor Indi, hoping the vet trip goes ok, it's good that you've got it covered and the medicine for her. Sending hugs to you and Indi ❤️.

I’m in bed too 😊, will likely be here all day. Just like yesterday. What’s mr Casper up to? Squeaking any toys? (Indi wishes she was). Nice to see you here 💜, oh and thanks re vet trip bit worried about it but ah well got to get through it 😊🐶

@Chasingsunsets Casper is laying on my bed, he was snuggled up with me before but he's at my feet now. It's lovely to see you here too, always enjoy our chats ❤️. I can understand being worried, I'll be thinking of you both sweet.

I have a meme for the sock thread coming soon it’s just so cute I thought of you 😊 @MissGremlin

You working on any craft today @MissGremlin 🙏