Battles

@Chasingsunsets getting them stopped is hard as they have a duty of care. In the past they've had mental health clinicians on that can talk over the phone and assess if them coming out is necessary. But tonight there wasn't one on, the paramedic i spoke to on the phone initially said that they would still have to come out but then she rang me back a short time after saying that they have cancelled them coming out and to call them back if I needed them. It's hard cos some of the questions they ask i don't answer honestly as I know it would mean them coming out, but I'm also not in a position to go to hospital so it's a balancing act. In saying that though I'm safe and if I did really need them I would call.

It's hard and my brain wants to shut down even more after what happened earlier tonight. I'm trying so hard to fight it so time will tell if I can. It's becoming increasingly harder to reach out for support when I keep getting pushed away.

I'm close to being finished another small one, it will be finished tonight.

I hear you @MissGremlin, I strongly encourage you to be honest with them, we care about you here and we want you to be ok. Casper would say this too, he wants the very best for you 💜

I hear you with support. I wonder in an ideal world what would the ideal support be for you?

Oohh you are already onto another, exciting 💜

Thankyou sweet @Chasingsunsets ❤️. Casper can't be left alone for too long so being completely honest just isn't possible. Being ok really doesn't exist in my world at the moment and I'm not sure it ever will (I'm safe).

I'm not even sure, it's actually something I find impossible to answer. Any idea I had on what support I wanted and what I thought would have helped i wasn't able to get so I've really given up on the idea of support. But in saying that I'm still trying to get support, I just don't know what that will look like. I was hurt that the mental health person on Wednesday said she'd call me on Friday but she didn't 😞. It's not the first time so you'd think that I would be used to it but it still hurts and feels like such a let down.

I no sooner finish one and then start another, it's one thing that keeps me safe when things are feeling dark and heavy.

I’m glad you can keep your self @MissGremlin, after all Casper is relying on his number one. If it means hospital then it’s better than his number one not being here at all. Said with kindness, and definitely sitting with you here while I say this.

yes I am also use to being let down in certain ways with health professionals. I wonder what you have found helpful to get through as you are tonight. You are incredibly brave.
I am sorry you were let down today by the mental health worker and hope they call you next week.

I am glad you find relief in diamond art 🫶

@Chasingsunsets I'm doing what I can to avoid hospital and in the past it hasn't been helpful going there. If I really need it though I know it's there.

It's horrible being let down by health professionals, so I'm sorry that you've experienced that aswell. Well usually it was reaching out to a service that I connect with but that's now been ripped away from me. So at the moment it's just connecting here, the couple of online friends I chat to and doing my diamond art.

Here's the one I just finished. Now I'm going to make some lucky stars.

I hear you @MissGremlin 💜, sorry it wasn’t helpful but I am glad you know it’s there if you need it 🙏

I am glad you find sane forum helpful and your other online friends 🙏

awaiting your pic 🫶

Aw that Dimond art is so cute @MissGremlin love it 💜

@Chasingsunsets Thankyou sweet ❤️. I really appreciate you being here tonight to chat to. I'm sorry that i haven't even asked yet but how are you going?

Oh that’s okay @MissGremlin you have a bit going ok I don’t expect you to ask it’s ok my friend 🫶

Couple of hoops here and there just trying to work out the route 🙏

@Chasingsunsets I always try to ask how others are going even when I've got things going on. Just tonight it completely slipped my mind as there was so much that needed to come out.

Hoping things settle for you sweet ❤️