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Managing thoughts of suicide & self-harm

Battles

MissGremlinSenior Contributor15 Mar 2025, 8:19 pm AEDT

Battles

Hi all, does anyone else just feel like life is just one big sh!t show? It's just one thing after another, constant drama, family issues, money struggles, stress, anxiety it's just always something.

When do things get easier, do things ever change?

I've been through more than i care to think about in my life but today has pushed me to breaking point and it's bringing up alot of bad memories of previous suicide attempts.

I just feel like it's not worth it, it's not worth fighting, not worth hanging on anymore.

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In response to: Battles

NightFurySenior Contributor15 Mar 2026, 8:24 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

I have lawns to mow tomorrow @MissGremlin and weekly course content to catch up on. But I'm hoping to get a little bit of rest in there somewhere.

It's not too late to ice it now. It'll help with the bruising and the swelling.

In response to: Battles

MissGremlinSenior Contributor15 Mar 2026, 8:32 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@Jynx thankyou sweet ❤️.

Trigger warning talks of suicide.

Content/trigger warning

Yesterday really was such a big day, I didn't plan on making it to my birthday but I somehow did. Then today I've sat with feelings of regret, anger, frustration, fear and guilt for not following through with my plan. It hurts even more that my doctor, counsellor, mental health team and crisis services knew about where things were sitting and what i had planned but still brushed it off. I was asked several times if I was safe and each time my answer was 'i don't know'. I'd told them that it was ok, that I'd accepted that this is what has to happen and I was at peace with my decision. I'd given up on actually getting support and when asked what they could do to help me i said that I just wanted to be listened to and heard, I didn't want anyone trying to change my mind or talk me out of things. (I'm safe).

Yesterday really was such a big day, I didn't plan on making it to my birthday but I somehow did. Then today I've sat with feelings of regret, anger, frustration, fear and guilt for not following through with my plan. It hurts even more that my doctor, counsellor, mental health team and crisis services knew about where things were sitting and what i had planned but still brushed it off. I was asked several times if I was safe and each time my answer was 'i don't know'. I'd told them that it was ok, that I'd accepted that this is what has to happen and I was at peace with my decision. I'd given up on actually getting support and when asked what they could do to help me i said that I just wanted to be listened to and heard, I didn't want anyone trying to change my mind or talk me out of things. (I'm safe).

I'll have to watch the first episode and see if it jogs my memory (or what's left of it 😂).

In response to: Re: Battles

MissGremlinSenior Contributor15 Mar 2026, 8:35 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@NightFuryhoping the lawn mowing doesn't take too long and catching up on the course content goes ok. You deserve some time to just rest sweet.

I'm comfy in my bed now and don't really have anything to put on it anyway.

In response to: Re: Battles

JynxModerator15 Mar 2026, 8:57 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin added a TW for ya 😉

It sounds like something has kept you here - and I am so glad of that. I do understand the mixture of feelings you're in, I can imagine it's a very confusing and overwhelming sensation to be sitting in this space. Are you disappointed in your supports? Would it be worth talking to them about what you maybe wish had happened differently?

In response to: Re: Battles

MissGremlinSenior Contributor15 Mar 2026, 9:02 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@Jynx thankyou, I can't do it from my phone.

It's a really uncomfortable in many ways to be sitting in this space. It's not the first time but this time just feels so different. Last night I found myself watching the clock and thinking to myself 'there's only a couple of hours of time for me to act on things'. I don't know if I'm even disappointed or glad that they didn't try to help.

In response to: Re: Battles

JynxModerator15 Mar 2026, 9:46 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin perhaps it is too soon to tell what your feelings are about it all? And when you're a bit further past it you could reflect on what was different and what happened around it that might be good to keep in mind?

In response to: Re: Battles

MissGremlinSenior Contributor15 Mar 2026, 9:51 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@Jynx perhaps you're right, it's definitely food for thought.

I have a really busy week other than tomorrow and I'm worried about how I'm going to cope with everything especially with where my thoughts are sitting (I'm safe).

I just finished watching Angel before so now I'm watching true blood and I've done some of my diamond art.

In response to: Re: Battles

JynxModerator15 Mar 2026, 10:23 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin one step and one day at a time hun, you got this 💜

Aww nice one, getting your vampire vibes on hehe. You got vampire themed diamond art too? 😋

In response to: Re: Battles

MissGremlinSenior Contributor15 Mar 2026, 10:28 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@Jynx thankyou sweet ❤️. Needing to break it down to second by second I think to try to get through.

Oohh i don't but now you've got me thinking i should. I do have a super cute dragon one that i can't wait to do, I don't have favourite things but that one is really sitting on the fence with it 😂

In response to: Re: Battles

JynxModerator15 Mar 2026, 10:48 pm AEDT

Re: Battles

@MissGremlin I do love dragons!! Hehe maybe you can even find a Buffy one!!

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.