Battles

@NightFury I'm glad you are home. I'm going to have an iced coffee cos its also hot here.

Sounds good @MissGremlin

I'm having a glass of coke. I know...not healthy.

@NightFury everything is ok in moderation.

Yeah, that's right @MissGremlin

How are things over there?

@NightFury things are all over the place, I've been a mess today and crying alot plus having panic attacks (I'm safe for now).

How's things over there sweet?

That sounds really tough. @MissGremlin I'm sorry you're going through it, my friend.

Things here have been...

I don't know. I'm feeling pretty flat and have a sense of emotional numbness...which I hate more than when I cry every day.

I got into an OCD course and it started this week. I had my first over the phone counselling appointment for that this week and it was a tough one. I also submitted my paper work for an access plan for my Uni course and had an over the phone appointment with a student wellfare officer to set up my access plan. Aaaand, I had a chat to my Unit coordinator about the assignment that's due on Sunday, that I haven't even started typing up. Aaaand, I accidentally got paid from my old job and no one can figure out why, and I'll have to pay it back.

On top of another big working week.

@NightFury it is tough and exhausting.

That emotional numbness is hard to sit with i find. Hugs sweetheart ❤️.

Oh sweet, this is alot to have going on through the week plus work aswell. I'm glad you got into a course but I can imagine it's tough talking about things. Is the access plan to help out with support and extensions for uni? (sorry i have no idea how uni works). That's frustrating getting paid from your old work, I imagine that in itself might have brought up some feelings again?

My OCD symptoms are hard for me to talk about @MissGremlin and the appointment gave me a sense of how complex it's going to be for me to unravel my three diagnoses. They're all kind of knotted together and I don't know what symptoms are anxiety and what is OCD. If that makes sense.

The access plan is for uni. It is to get more supports for me while studying - extra time on assignments, and more support from the teachers and coordinators.

And yeah, it did bring some stuff back up. So, this week I've had a lot to process.

So...we are both exhausted!

@NightFury i hear you sweet and yes it definitely makes sense. It's hard when symptoms blend together, i can really relate to that.

That's good about the access plan and it will be so good for you to have that extra support and time for assignments.

It definitely sounds like alot to process. Just remember to be gentle with yourself sweetheart ❤️.

We are definitely both exhausted.

My glass doesn't have a big hole in it today, I still have over half of my iced coffee left. I'm finding myself dissociating and I forget that I even have it there.

It made it feel really hard @MissGremlin

It will be good to get a little space with my assignments and more support. It just...it wasn't a hard process in the end, but it took a lot for me to do. I had to put aside a lot of...shame.

My drink is gone. I used to glass with the hole in it this time.