Becoming a Butterfly

Oh just read this and I have been telling people, I am this ugly butterfly and when I escape this DV household, I will become a Beautiful Butterfly.

I am under Government Housing with DSP and emergency housing too. It can take years despite being put above those who have somewhere to live but not emergency, sorry guys for this, it can still take years for me too and have also been putting my name down at rentals around the place.

My theme is Butterflies when I move to my new place so have bought many Butterfly things, not using them here, they are packed ready for my new place, new beginning and new life.

These are from the website, I ordered from, so I got a matching set

So living in same house as ex for now, dv household, police been out here again, he taped me carrying a box up to the house marked fragile, we live rurally and plenty of space to walk around me, but no he put both hands on the box, the box nearly as tall as me, so I was carrying it literally inches off the ground and I put it down and slapped both his wrists away and then he said I have you on assault twice and I kept carrying the box, then he locked me out of the house, I bashed on the door and screamed let me in, he opened the door still filming me and once again put his hands on the box, he was pushing, felt like I was going to tumble down the stairs then, then he let go and the box came crashing forward

I picked it up and put it resting on the table and went to my room and he said I am going to ring the police and show them this, I said, good ring them. He did not ring them for 2 hours, so I rang them.

I had a police officer talk to me seperately and the Senior Sergeant was ripping my ex a new hole. He was full on yelling at my ex and it did not stop. When my police officer came to me in my room, I told him about the filming and they both watched it

So the Butterfly is my metamorphises that I will transform into a person that will be happy away from this one day, so bought the above and it is packed away, not using it here, it will be used new at my new place one day

Housing crisis is the biggest problem here

I have been abused all my life, recently diagnosed with BPD, and on DSP now too. I have embraced BPD as it makes sense of me and my thinking. It is ok to be me. I am in my 50s and got recently diagnosed, but been this way all my life.

I was treated for severe depression, panic attacks. Still not going away. Found a Psychologist with 40 years experience outside of this rural town via telehelp. This town could not help me and I am moving to a bigger city to get closer help one day and that frightens me too. Big wide open space here to living wall to wall with people, is going to be frightening for me. Even though it is frightening to live here

I hope you are all doing well too, this is my 2nd post in here, I am new to this Website and want to understand me and what BPD is all about too.

Thank you for listening to me. Have a good day everyone!!