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Bipolar II Manic outbursts

_GTI_Mk7_Casual Contributor07 Mar 2025, 2:24 am AEDT

Bipolar II Manic outbursts

Hey guys. Im new and want to tell you abit about my issues and struggles..

Ive been struggling with my bipolar II for most my life.

My manic episodes come on at random. I dont have a say how when or how. Completely random. Lately they happen once or twice a day. Alot more frequent. And im scared. My family are terrified. Ive become a agressive angry monster.

Content/trigger warning

My illness wants me dead is the best way to put it. Me head tells me so. The voices are getting stronger every day.

I cant sleep to save my life. My head wont turn off. Static white noise buzzing sounds in my head keep me up most of the night, along with restless leg syndrome.

Between my BPD, adhd, anxiety and depression i feel really suicidal, dangerous to myself, not others, and unpredictable with my decicions, and risk taking behaviour at the moment.

I also got made redundant from my job 3 weeks ago so thats adding extra stress levels ontop of what im already dealing with. Still jobless, broke, behind in repayments, bills, and rent. Im about to loose my family for good if i cant control this.

I actually attempted suicide about 5 years ago, but was revived.

Wasnt my time to go. A legnthy stint in a psych ward and off to rehab for 4.5 months i went.

i came out in the end. Didnt last long though. Probably 6 months. Relapse, and more suicide attempts. Things got worse real quick. Up untill this day.

I feel if i dont get some help asap im going to end myself 100% very soon.

I cant take anymore of living and feeling like this.

My illness wants me dead is the best way to put it. Me head tells me so. The voices are getting stronger every day. I cant sleep to save my life. My head wont turn off. Static white noise buzzing sounds in my head keep me up most of the night, along with restless leg syndrome. Between my BPD, adhd, anxiety and depression i feel really suicidal, dangerous to myself, not others, and unpredictable with my decicions, and risk taking behaviour at the moment. I also got made redundant from my job 3 weeks ago so thats adding extra stress levels ontop of what im already dealing with. Still jobless, broke, behind in repayments, bills, and rent. Im about to loose my family for good if i cant control this. I actually attempted suicide about 5 years ago, but was revived. Wasnt my time to go. A legnthy stint in a psych ward and off to rehab for 4.5 months i went. i came out in the end. Didnt last long though. Probably 6 months. Relapse, and more suicide attempts. Things got worse real quick. Up untill this day. I feel if i dont get some help asap im going to end myself 100% very soon. I cant take anymore of living and feeling like this.

If anyone can help me with coping mechanisims, ways to manage my bipolar, suicidal thoughts and other illnesses i have disussed earlier in my post, and my communication with partner, and being less aggressive, abusive, guilt tripping and being a gas lighting manipulator id be forever grateful.

Thanks for reading guys. Sorry for the rant.

Cheers.

4 replies

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In response to: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

Ru-beeModerator07 Mar 2025, 10:24 am AEDT

Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

Hello @_GTI_Mk7_ and welcome to the forums

It sounds like you're experiencing a really turbulent time right now and have recognised that something needs to change. Good on you for taking this step in reaching out here, as I know that it's not an easy thing to do.

Do you have any other supports at the moment? A GP, a therapist, someone who you trust who you've been able to talk to about what's been going on for you?

In response to: Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

_GTI_Mk7_Casual Contributor07 Mar 2025, 10:33 am AEDT

Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

I have my GP. Working with a new psychiatrist and psycoligist as previous ones done more damage to me. I need to sort out new medication as im not coping.

In response to: Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

_GTI_Mk7_Casual Contributor07 Mar 2025, 10:46 am AEDT

Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

I dont have anyone really to discuss my issues with. Only GP at the moment. I feel im in the too hard basket and no one can be bothered with me to be honest. The ammount of psychs and therapists etc ive engaged with have done nothing but dope me up full of heavy medication. This is a life i dont want to live. I want to feel normal and balanced and not have my work and family impacted by this.

In response to: Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

Ru-beeModerator07 Mar 2025, 10:57 am AEDT

Re: Bipolar II Manic outbursts

I'm glad to hear that you've got your GP and that you've been able to find a new psychiatrist and psychologist who will hopefully be a better fit for you @_GTI_Mk7_

I know you are specifically looking for some coping tools to help you, sometimes it can help to know if there are already some that you use that work, or even ones that you've tried and found didn't work for you.

I hope that this can be a place where you can feel safe to talk so you've got another outlet for it all

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