Life can be a Pain

Hi @Shaz51@utopia@outlander

Ah decisions decisions

I don't know how to give up - I really find I just keep going and I have been challenged but I still keep on keeping on

The trouble with the front room is the table in there - and it's freezing in winter and fiercely hot in summer - it's actually the master bedroom but not a convenient room at all

But still - having a stand for my keyboard means I could practise out here and then when I use the exercise bike I can sweat it out in winter and use it early in summer

The local pool - ah yes - I would have to walk on concrete to get there and it's not my idea of fun any more - I used to swim a lot

What was really getting to me was the conflicting advice of the physiotherapist - about my medication and walking - I don't mind the exerices - those are easy and good advice - but having him insist I needed surgery and the idea of all of this being preparation for that - scares shit outa me - pardon the language - not happening

And I like walking and if I need the crutches and and I have to walk on concrete then this will happen - I feel good doing that - I am getting somewhere and getting exercise and I think what threatened me the most was being told not to do that

I cried so much - I can hardly believe how much I cried - I like my automony - I seem to ignore what people say about my medication because it is authorised by a pain specialist after all -

But I find being told stuff about my medication really insensitive - aw - I so do

Getter older has some really good points - about what we learn about life really - but it is more than just a number as I am so often told - I don't mind looking older but it seems I have a genetic disposition toward arthritis and this is my life and I accept it

At the same time I have a good idea that if a healthy exercise makes us feel better whenever we do it - then regardless of what someone else thinks - we do it - with moderation

But - it was fantastic tallking to my daughter - I will take her advice by listening to my doctor because he treats the whole person and knows me - and my daughter wow

She is a lot more pragmatic than I am - and because I live alone I don't just have someone to bounce ideas off as people who live alone know - and my thinking tends to get circular

About the swimming pool - ah - it's really hard to go there when it's quiet - and the chlorine - I used to swim there a lot and always smelling of chlorine no matter how often I showered with special soap - ah no - my skin is passed that

Good ideas though - thanks everyone

Dec

@Owlunar
I think its scares you alot because itll be like loosing your independance. Your very independent and if this surgury goes ahead youll need a lot of help. Even though your struggling to get around the idea of not even being able to do that is a fear for you.

Only you can decide what to do. You dont have to have surgury at all. Hopefully you can find things that help though and helps with your pain too.

im wondering if an osteopath could help you? im sure you said that you have a physiotherapist... maybe you could do some research into other forms of therapy and exercises that can help you with this as well and to keep your independence longer?
❤❤

@Owlunar Thinking of you

Hi @Zoe7

Those are really lovely flowers thank you - and thanks for thinking of me to when you life has been a lot less than easy

And @outlander

You are right - I am really afraid of losing my independence and automomy - and I will do anything I can to avoid this. Before there was joint replacement people just had to put up with degenerating joints and I already have enough of them - I think I can put up with this for a long time yet

And I have some of the same battles you do - conflicting advice - this is so confusing so I do understand a lot of where you are right now - and I have my own ideas which usually seem a lot more attractive - so yes - I will do what works for me as long as I can

The difference is I am happy with my life alone and it works for me - I am well aware of what I want to do and eeerrrrr - what I would hate is being told when to get up and when to go to bed - when and what to see on TV and have other people around all the time

It's really scary having all this threatened but my daughter is right - stick with the suggestions of my own doctor - he's not pressuring me into anything - he knows me better after all

But thanks for your message

Dec

Aw @utopia

You are so right - I could go one and on about it - and treatment

People who have no idea will start to bombard me with this "new" thing - whatever it is - and it's something I have known about for ages and it is not a new thing and sometimes something I have already tried

But my pain medication - I am constantly told by people outside the medical profession that it's addictive - as if I don't already know

And yes - I know how the pain is - and a person as to know pain to really understand how it is - actually anything that needs medication - and again - how addictive a wheel chair is - once you are in one of those there you are forever unless it is a temporary issue - even then that can't be fun - let's keep away from aids until we really need them

My mother - sheesh - I was so angry at the time - when my parents first went into care she was walking on her one perfectly well - but they gave her an A-Frame - a walker - because of their insurance I have no doubt - and she was dependent on it immediately and became helpless without it

I have to be so strong-minded about what I am doing - yes - I might have to have the operation eventually

Ah - the pain medication - this is a long way of saying I want to be in control of my own choices and feel pretty annoyed if people start on about it - and as for taking less - my doctor is pleased but then - it is never enough

I am rattling - so thanks Utopia - I am gradually building up my confidence after it has taken a rattling - I wish I had not had the MRI actually but the clunking in my knee makes me feel sick - and that's one way of losing the weight I don't need to - enough said

Thanks for your thoughts

Dec - getting there - yes - I am getting there

I don't get tags @outlander

But I know another way to follow you if I know you have sent me one

Dec