Life can be a Pain

Hi @Zoe7

When I start writing in the forum I tend to start at the top and work down - and this message came in after I stopped - so I am writing here now

Thanks so much for your help yesterday - you probably know how helpful it is - how wonderful it is - to have someone understand and tell us that when things go wobbly - I am okay but that might have been different without your support

And from what I read the support was on both sides which is (I am looking for another good word) the best - after all - no one was at fault and life is a learning process -

I understand you will probably never tell your whole story - there are things (mostly in my son's life) that I will take to my grave - many other things as well - but what is the point of repeating them unless we are unloading to a therapist - people in our personal circles would not want to hear or believe the truth -

Maybe this is one of the big issues of life - the truth can be so obvious and concrete to us but to say the words - no - those words can get in the way of the bigger picture

You seem to have choices worked out and for now you are chosing to live with the pain

I think you probably know I have chronic spinal pain that is inoperable. My choice is to live with it also but I do have a great medical team and the appropriate medication. Living with physical pain is easier than the mental and emotional pain in our soul though - seeing as I have had a serve of both -

Thanks again Zoe - I would not intentionally hurt someone - thinking back maybe it could have been dealt with more easily earlier - but then - who knows - I didn't see it coming - and we all have to protect our space

I'm so glad I was able to help you too - esp from sinking into a deep hole

Dec

You are most welcome @Owlunar - yesterday was a tough day for you but you have had a lot of those lately and I had faith that you would get through it - I am glad I could help you though - and as I said- you helped me also That is one of the best things about this community - sometimes in helping others we are able to find a little clarity for ourselves! It is definitely a give-and- take environment - but a bit like you I do prefer the giving than the taking!

Hindsight is both a wonderful thing but can also become a weight on our shoulders - I think you handled things well - there was never going to be a way that some hurt was not going to be avoided - but the community is here to support both of you and anyone else that needs it.

I do agree that living with the emotional pain is so much harder - the physical pain certainly compounds the issues but is manageable. I think it is the unpredictability of the emotional pain that is the hardest to deal with. With my own physical pain I can take meds thst alleviate the pain somewhat but then I know how to manage the pain that is still there - don't know how to 'manage' the emotional side of things as well!!!!!

I hope you find some time today to do something nice for yourself - you deserve as much light in your life as is possible Dec.

Hi @Zoe7

Today is much better - I just had a man come and clean the filters on my A/C which is on the reverse cycle - it was full of dust and I need to have this done every six months -

Because I am in Government Housing I am at the mercy of the Ministry - but this time they sent a guy urgently - so now I have it running better and I can go and have my hair cut which I thought I might not be able to

As I said - things are better

So yes - do something nice for myself - having my heater working properly is one good thing and getting my hair done - I ran out of frozen yoghurt - ow - bad one - that's my go-to for an instant fix

I hope you can do something nice for yourself today also Zoe

Dec

That is all great news @Owlunar

I am party planning - and as strange as it may seem to some this is actually something I enjoy so I am already doing something nice for myself. I am also hoping to be able to paint a little later today - but that will depend on how I am feeling and whether I can actually hold a paint brush for more than a few minutes.

Zoe

@Owlunar. @Zoe7.

@Former-Member you are the sweetest...

Zoe7, Dec, I've read your discussion here a few times and feel thick, missing something between the lines, or just me, plz forgive me for not taking in the fill picture. Still care.

And sorry Dec if my flashback talk at your hard time made it worse for you. 💜

Outlander, you said "oh Lapses, i dont deserve your support" WHAT THE... ?? Of cause you deserve support, why would you say that? I know I don't reply enough to posts here but I have to kinda pace myself, my exposure, especiallg when fragile - as I can easily go downhill. You are the same age my girl would be. Not your fault, I know. Post away, I'll check in when I can. Many here have got ya back. You're precious!!! And Sorry you're scared of dogs, they can be great pets, bu must say - the big ones freak me out 😨. You sleep well tonight 🙂

Oh nitz!, just had a painful wave of loneliness overtake me 😞 - it will pass 🌷🌿

@Former-Member I don't think you are thick but maybe it is because @Owlunar and I have had discussions much earlier than the present ones and there is actually alot that wouldn't 'make sense' from someone who is reading the current discussion. It is difficult to 'take in the full picture' when you have not been a part of an earlier discussion as we do not tend to repeat things that we have already discussed elsewhere - that does make it really difficult for others to enter into the discussion - I am sorry that you have felt a little bewildered here I personally know - it goes without saying - that you care - and you are very much valued for that @Former-Member. Life is not easy at times - and there are so many reminders (small and large) of why we feel the pain we do - do not ever think that you have an obligation to respond (or even read) what other's have written - the primary focus of being part of this community is to be supported in whatever way you need. I give you not-so-gentle pushes to get that painting done lol (we both understand that it is not meant to make you feel like you have to do it but that is my way of saying I am thinking of you and I care in a different way than others might). Pace yourself and reply to whatever you feel you can handle - no-one can ask anymore or any less of you than that - and more importantly - you cannot ask anymore or any less of yourself than that either.

You are not alone here Lapses - sending you love and hugs tonight