Life can be a Pain

oh dear @Owlunar I read 'Actually I don't have jammies' and my face nearly hit the floor with that image - until I read on lol

I believe Rivers is having their big sale on at the moment - everything up to 70% off - might be a good time to take a look at what they have on offer

I can certainly understand the hyper-vigilence - I have been like that too for quite a while now - I go where I need to and then straight home. Sometimes I have not even finished what I have needed to do. If it is possible I take Toby with me so I know I can return to the car and to him to calm down. He is such a good boy - he just sleeps on his blanket on the seat until I come back. I always park where it is cool, leave the windows open slighty to let air in and he has his water in the car with him. He actually loves being in the car - and I am never away from him for more than about 10-15 minutes anyway.

A couple of weeks ago I got really dizzy in a shop and fell against a table. I did manage to 'sit down' without knocking anything over or breaking anything. A couple of people came over to help but all I needed was to wait for it to pass and then get out of there as quickly as I could. It certainly is nothing like the pain you endure but I am very conscious that this has happened a few times and I need to be careful wherever I am at the moment.

Hi @Zoe7

Normally people get into the shower starkers - but then - mostly we have the space to ourselves - going to bed like that does give me uncomfortable feelings and this is not good. oooh the thoughts - I might forget myself and open the front door - no - let stick with something however brief

Actually we can never compare pain - it varies from person to person and what is a serious pain to one person isn't that much to another - and I have medication to cover my pain but getting knocked over is painful and it doesn't just go away

I have a friend who has chronic pain from a shoulder injury and she is getting so frustrated with her doctor - over and over I have told her she can't have the kind of medication that would be really helpful until she sees a pain specialist but people will only do what they will do when they are ready -

But yes - I really hate attention like that in public - it's embarrassing - I hate it to have the paramedics - they are always kind to me and in the early days it was great to have their assistance but I am over that now - there is nothing they can do for me in the ED and it's a case of wait until a doctor comes and has a look at me and they are puzzled about how to handle it and sometimes admit me - which is intensely annoying when I have my own medication at home and I don't always get what my pain specliast has prescribed if I am in hospital -

I am hoping to get to Rivers some time soon - I go there pretty often and sales are hectic so I tend to keep away - things are often on special though - I got a bunch of tops there a few weeks ago

Dec

I totally agree @Owlunar - pain is pain and it is different for everyone. At the moment I am battling pain (to certain degrees) in my throat, tooth, stomach and head - on their own possibly manageable but all together - debilitating. I am trying not to take painkillers as it is taking more these days to lessen the pain - and I am very conscious of my present mental state and that I am likely to just keep going until I am either sick or 'pass out'. So am am not moving far from the couch and trying to 'hold on' until there is a little relief. This is one time that I can say that my other meds are a blessing as they make me feel really tired still and that is actually helping a little.

I am thinking of you Dec and sending you my love...

Zoe

Hi @OwlunarDec. thinking of you. How's your week been? Sometimes we have to remake ourselves to move forward, nothing wrong with new beginnings, especially in an unforgiving world of ppl who make up their minds wrong about us. You know, I moved house 42times before I was 40. Running away is my thing. Probably why I get so lonely now, but 'distancing' is better than confrontation for me. Both are hard but the latter is easier. Its a personality thing I guess, please don't hold it against me or confront. There I go rambling on again.. Just disregard if confusing. Haha.

Time for me to do the dishes and make my pumpkin soup. I'd give you some if I could, op, actually... ... here you are

enjoy!

Just saying hi 😃🌷🌿☕

Pumpkin soup looks wonderful @Former-Member xx

Ohh @Owlunar, I had a pj day on wednesday alllllll day xx

How are you this afternoon my friend , wondering how you are

@Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member@outlander@Shaz51@Zoe7

I am okay folks - I had a srange weekend - I had the surgery on my big-toe nail - which was no big deal - but it was a badly distorted nail that may repeat the problem - my father had this and so does my daughter and she has decided to have some surgery on her toe-nails too - it's a family thing I guess but it happens to the best people

I did have a flat day last week - really bad - it left me really washed out - then Friday which is usually busy and I had the surgery as well and then I slept all weekend - I can hardly believe I did that - the pressure from the distorted nail was disturbing my sleep and if I left my foot outside the doona the cat was batting it as if to tell me something was wrong and put my foot in out of the cold - so - after all that - I had a bit to catch up on - life does go on after all

I sent and email to my rellies and things are not good there - I can't visit yet but they have assured me that I will be welcome when the troubles that assail them are sorted out - wow - I would imagine two retired elderly frail people could live out the last part of their lives in peace but apparently not.

But at least I heard from them.

So I have a bunch of anniveraries and birthdays right now - and today or around this time it is the anniversary of my cousin's death and this is harder - but not as bad as it is when it's my son's anniversary - I know my cousin's story of course - but not how long he was a missing person - I still really shudder when I think of all of this - but on their own none of these current events give me a hard time - it's that these and many others are all around the same time and it's winter

But yes - I am okay - just taking care of myself and organising myself to going to Lakes Entrance now I know seeing my rellies is not on my itinerary

So I am organising my trip to Lakes Entrance - I am not advertising when I will be gone - I just won't be here - though there is a internet cafe there - tomorrow I have someone coming to take me shopping at the shopping mall when it can be hectic with people wandering around not looking where they are going - it is better for me to have the company

I know I haven't been in much lately - I started to find it hard to read people's stories - which was okay - but I found it harder to respond - and I think it better if I keep to myself at times - which doesn't mean I don't care

I have worked out that we need to care for ourselves before we can really be in a good place to help other people -

So rest assured - when I am not on-line I am either away or taking time out - I am not leaving - I have no intention of doing that

So I am thinking of everyone - and thanks everyone for understanding

Dec

Hi @Owlunar

We all get it Dec - there is absolutely no need to explain anything. The most important thing is that you take care of yourself - anniversaries can be really tough, especially when there are more than one that come together in a short period - if you need support then reach out and we'll be here for you

Even though the situation with your rellies is not good at least you have heard from them - I know this has been upsetting you for many months now and to finally get a response that says you can visit when it is all 'finished' is a good thing for you (in a bad situation).

Enjoy your trip to Lakes Entrance - it is a special place - and will be even more special when you are there (because you are there )

Thinking of you - always Dec...

and sending you love, hugs and a little extra light to guide you along this part of your journey...

Zoe

Thanks @Zoe7

I find it hard to write about myself when I am in a bad place - it's enough to say that I am - but really - it was only one day that I was really down - and I felt so washed out - maybe that's why I slept for such a long time - I was hard writing to my rellies - I don't like to push myself in on people - but this time I got a really good answer - they really do want to see me.

I have another uncle I want to see too - and my cousin - whom I am close to and keep in touch with on Facebook - I have other cousins in Northern America and I see pics of their children - who are still only children but are my second cousins - my family has really stretched out across the generations - my youngest first cousin was born after my son - interesting

I am thinking I should ring my cousins in America - I have to find their phone-niumbers - the family needs support and I can give this - my family really shattered apart a few times over the years - not my doing but I was ostracised by my parents and this meant I have to try hard to reach out and it is hard being the one that does all the reaching out - I am sure that is easy to understand

One thing about winter - we sleep more and this is helpful for me - though I know you are struggling with that - I hope you are not in too bad a place right now - I have a lot of catching up to to

Thanks for your messages - they mean a great deal

Dec