Life can be a Pain

Thanks @MDT

You are right - family can be like this - and we have the right to any emotion we experience - anger - hurt - rage - sorrow - it's what we do with our emotions that's important.

I have learned a lot through life - one is that we can never change anyone else's mind or beliefs - so why bother? Another is the power of letting someone have the last word - that gives us the inner strength to maintain our own mind and beliefs - and that must be so frustrating for the other person.

I have no intention of telling my daughter her wrongs - only the way I feel - and the way we feel is always valid if not sound. She does have a lot to learn - and I know her better than she realises - not that I will tell her that - and I love her - which I will say.

I heard what you said about your partner and her mother losing a sister and daughter - likewise - my daughter and I have had a similar loss in my son and her brother. I have worked hard to accept the loss - also - I have no wish to discuss what happened - still I would listen to her feelings about it - I just have no wish myself to go into the troubled life of my son with her - with anyone really.

Also - we need to pick our moments - it's not wise to react when we are feeling vulnerable - it's better to self-soothe over time and think it all through. My daughter could learn a lot from me - it's important to know that she wants to learn and wants to learn it from me. I totally learned that myself through time.

Wisdom comes through living a self-examining life - time gives us the space to learn how and when - I am grateful for my life's lessons - I have had a life worth living that's true.

Thanks Hams - and my thoughts are with your partner and her mother - this kind of loss is something I really understand.

Best thoughts

Owlunar

Also - it's useless to tell anyone else where they went wrong -

Thanks @outlander

I have someone coming in to help me shower three times a week - and a little other help - still it was not easy coping with the after effects of my dental surgery - I did have choices though.

I could have gone to respite or even hospital I guess - or extra help at home - I chose to go it alone - that extra help can be intrusive especially when it comes to food prep.

Sometimes I have needed help to sort out a large piece of pumpkin - alas - watching someone else do this gives me the shudders - as hard as it is I have less angst when I battle with it myself. I like the way I do things and yes - I have had prepared meals - shudder - why do other people love cauliflower so much so they use it in every meal - and then requesting they not give it to me didn't work either because the whole meal tasted like cauliflower.

I guess I'm really picky about how and what and when I cook - and that's fine by me.

Yeah - I took the road less taken and I think it was best for me but hard - you are right.

I am glad you mentioned this - I really appreciated your post

Owlunar

Thanks @outlander

That is a good suggestion - still - after trying different providers of pre-cooked meals I prefer my own cooking - I am a super-taster I think - and while I can - I will do it myself.

I can get smaller pieces of pumpkin at the local Foodworks - on the corner of my street - and I order from Woolworths - still eating soft foot - that will be the case for about 3 months - I am off the mushy stuff though - and I have seen the oral surgeon and he is pleased with my process - and that was a relief.

Yesterday was a really bleak day in Melbourne - I gave up during the afternoon and read for hours in bed - snug as a bug - and rather later than normal I made a stew from stir-fry beef and frozen vegies - I added herbs and it was fine and I have enough for tonight. And yes - I will be sick of this after a while - I am longing for a nice piece of steak - I guess it will be really great when I can have it. I am looking forward to that

I think of you often

Best wishes

Owlunar

Thanks @MDT

Yes - we deep-thinkers do examine things maybe many never consider - I find it a profitable pastime and I am glad you do too

It's two weeks since I spoke to my daughter and I am okay - we need a holiday from each other right now.

All the best

Owlunar

My life is so interesting - I wouldn't want to miss a minute of it - there is always something happening.

I have a dead or dying possum in the eaves near my A/C - I think it's trapped.

An hour or a bit more I hear this animal thrashing, thumping and hissing - it sounded terribly distressed - and now it has gone quiet - so maybe it died.

No - it's still there - oh dear.

I have rung every phone number possible - like the RSPCA - SES - my pest controller - others and even the local police - just for advice - and no one is available except for the SES and they are not equipped to remove a dead or dying animal.

So yes - I do have a sense of humour about all of this - and of course it's not high on anyone's list of priorities - except mine - I don't want another dead animal on my property. There are worse issues of course - this I know - (almighty sigh)

Okay - back later - I'm going to have a hot chocolate and watch TV - I am not able to get up there and move the tiles around myself so that's that

Owlunar - taking it easy again - Saturday night is not a good time to need some help -

Let's sit together my mumma bear @Owlunar and have a hot chocolate 🥰

Yes @Shaz51

That's a good idea - I have the drinking chocolate but no marshmallows - perhaps we can share imaginary marshmallows

I get it how concerning all of this business with Mr Shaz is

Mumma Bear

Yes my mumma bear @Owlunar

Mr shaz seems to go so far amd then the meds don't seem to work anymore

Then he get reassessed and then new meds for a little while xx

I think he would like a real diagnosis but not getting one