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Life can be a Pain

DecadianSenior Contributor

Life can be a Pain

Hi @BlueBay@Zoe7@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@oceangirl@TAB@Shaz51@PeppiPatty

I know there are more people I could tag but maybe I will think them up as I go along - actually I already have

I think I need my own thread - mostly my problem is chronic pain syndrome - I damaged my spine with the sporting excesses of my youth - a long time ago now - and I managed to rearrange it when I fell of my pushbike in a wind storm nearly 22 years ago and that seems a long time ago now but there is nothing they can do except treat the pain - and I do have Section 8 medication and I see a pain specialist

And the pain has been worse lately and wears me down and I get fed up and very tired -

I have issues with my mother as well - and although she died 2 years ago I still have bad times now and again - she was abusive and as well as I know myself and her this can get to me at times - and this is another reason I opened my own thread

Then there is TS - my Toxic Sister - she was under my skin for a while but not at the moment

So yesterday I felt so bad when I went to see the doctor about my back pain - and my pain specialist has cut my medication back several times over the last few years and she has gone too far - and I started to tell my doctor - yes - I cope with the pain better since my mother died - but it's driving me crackers atm and so are the memories of my mother

So that's it for now - I have had trouble opening this thread for some reason but now I have - I will run my own story - I would like to think I don't need to but yes - I do

You are all such wonderful supportive people - you are my soft place to land - that is so true

And anyone I have missed I will tag as I go along

Lots of hugs everyone

Dec

5211 replies

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In response to: Life can be a Pain

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

what an ordeal youve had @Owlunar thats really tough and im sorry you had to try and manage all that without supports in place.

i hope your going abit better now

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

@outlander @Shaz51 @Meowmy @TAB @Appleblossom @Oaktree @MDT

@Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @EternalFlower @tonys @ClockFace

Hi all

I am gradually recovering - actually considering everything over the last few months I have done well - and it has been a challenging experience.

My mouth is nearly healed - I am seeing the oral surgeon for the post-operative check-up tomorrow - I still have stage two to deal with but that will not be what I have just been through - something I would not like to repeat.

And life goes on.

I have felt invalidated and disrespected by my daughter and this hurts - I know other people have experienced this sort of thing - it has gone on long enough and I have drawn a line - bugger the sand - it's pretty well concrete - I just don't give her the right to speak to me with such disregard.

So I am giving myself time to recover from the events of the last few months and then I will insist on a private conversation in person - and tell her how I feel - not what I think of her or her behaviour - just how I feel - I have a good idea that no one needs to hear a litany of their bad behaviour which it was the norm in my past - from my family.

Of course - silence is golden - and then - truth is beyond price - but it needs to be how I feel rather than what she has said. I respect myself and deserve better - so do we all.

I haven't felt up to writing much - or doing much - lately - totally sapped of energy - I have started eating my normal diet - well almost - and this helps. I have been reading a lot, listening to classical music and doing jigsaws on my phone - I am so glad I have come this far -

Thanks everyone for your messages - I am not sure if I will ever catch up - I have been reading some of the conversations - this is good - sometimes more than I can deal with - and we all need to know those boundaries

All the best everyone

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

Thanks @Shaz51

You have so much to cope with yet you are always here for other people - you are a blessing to have here - I am so glad you are here.

I hope Mr Shaz is feeling better - he could do better but I guess that effort - even the idea - has to be his choice. It must be hard standing in the wings though

I hear you - I'm sending my love

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

TABSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

..wel done and Good Luck @Owlunar 😎

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

Ohh hugs my mumma bear @Owlunar ❤️❤️

Sitting with you daily

My daughter is very picky, could be in her bad books in a blink of an eye

She loves her dad - Mr shaz which is the main thing

Mr shaz says he is feeling very old and feels he is getting worse everyday

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

I'm on the same page @Shaz51 - I seem to be looking older since my dental surgery - but then - I have an 80th birthday card which I am deliberately leaving on my tv table as a qualification.

I am sure Mr Shaz hasn't reached this great age yet - but yes - I do understand - I get it for him and for you -

Oh dear, dear, dear.

About your picky daughter - I have mug with the right statement - says

"Teenage daughter survivor" - yes - and she is in her early 50s

I do hear you

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

Ha ha my mumma bear @Owlunar

People tell him he is only young -- 63 he is

Yep daughter is 36 and became a mum and we are sure she has bipolar

Her brothers have adhd 😁

Mr shaz gets his results of the brain scan, other scans and blood tests next week

For me the kidney specialist is happy but wants me to see a dietician

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

A dietician @Shaz51 - ooh.

You are living on a restrictive diet already - are they going to take away something else?

I care - I was eating mushy food for a couple of weeks - that was not my choice - it was okay - but - you know.

Are you on a list for a kidney transplant yet? I guess this has to take time - but the poor little kidney is battling his best for you.

I get it - hmm

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Shaz51Senior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

It is very interesting my mumma bear @Owlunar

My parathyroid levels are high because they are trying to regulate what the kidney disease is doing and are taking the calcium out of the my bones to help out

Will tag @Jynx here to see what I mean xx

Mr shaz has had all the tests to give me one of his kidneys whan the time comes

Rejection is a very big thing for me , past and present and will keep going on in the. Future

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

MDTSenior Contributor

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hey @Owlunar thank you for your update.

Sounds like a fair bit has been happening. I am sorry to hear about your daughter and the situation there.

Reminds me a little bit about my partner. The situation with her mum is less than ideal so to speak. It's more to do with the fact that they lost a member of their family when my partner was at a formative age (9). My partner lost her sister. Her mum lost a daughter. There are traumas. We still don't know if we will meet them in person yet - her mum is very mixed about her immigration to Aus.
I guess what I am saying my friend is that family can be like this - but I mean you know that already right? Apologies for my waffling on. But just trying to say I hear you.

I guess too - how you feel is key. But the behaviour your daughter has shown has been the cause? I'm not sure though.

Sometimes my ego can get in the way of expressing how I get hurt. Particularly with my partner. It's like I have a right to be angry and upset. Of course I do have that right, but the ego gets in and adds fuel's to the fire. It doesn't help. Not one iota.

In our struggles in life I think we are entitled to get angry when hurt. We are emotional beings after all.

I think it was Shakespeare who said to give sorrow words
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