Life can be a Pain

Oh no @Shaz51 that sounds super tricky... especially with the impulsivity of the ADHD. It is something to have a conversation about or is it too early for that just yet?

very true my @Jynx , it is tricky especially with the impulsivity of the ADHD.

I am finding I am going without to cover it

but I am glad I have put money away in another account

and he is thinking of stopping work altogether

Oh gosh @Shaz51 well definitely hope he can reign in the spending if he also wants to stop working. Glad you've got some separate finances for yourself. Hope things don't get too tight for you both.

me too @Jynx , thanks for listening my friend

and with all of mums pension used for permanently aged care as well

and mr shaz has again has decreased his meds by half

@Owlunar , @Zoe7 , @Appleblossom

Aw @Shaz51 no - Mr Shaz taking half his meds must mean he will be twice as anxious - that is not good

And he is irresponsible with money too - that is a worry - I am glad you have your cash separately - I had to do that - my ex could not be trusted to buy his own clothes - he would buy cheap and nasties and this was so totally frustrating - there are long stories there - I'm not telling them tonight,

Then he would go out and spend money on something totally useless -

So I really hear your concerns - and Mr Shaz is thinking about not working - that is a real bother - at least I think we know he changes his mind a lot - I bet you wish he could keep his ideas together though.

I really care - having had a taste of that in the past. I know it's a total pain when money is tight.

I saw the moon tonight - a fat little crescent - I couldn't see it through the huge jacaranda next door - it was in clear sight out the front though.

No one lives next door - and I live in one half of the duplex - today I wandered around and went into the back garden - no gate - just a much bigger space that my courtyard totally filled with ivy all over the ground and right up the huge jacaranda - which - during the winter - overshadows my courtyard. There are worse things about to be concerned about.

All the best with Mr Shaz and his ADHD - I hope you can hold onto your cash anyway - thinking of you.

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Hi @Appleblossom @Zoe7

I can't write any more tonight - I don't want to aggravate my shoulder - and yes - I do have a great medical team caring for me.

Hugs all round

@Owlunar @Shaz51 @Appleblossom 💕

@Zoe7 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom

How are all of you - I have to say it doesn't feel like a Wednesday - it hasn't all day - public holidays mid week - any public holidays - give me this feeling. Luckily the Chase Australia is on most week days - but not yesterday - apparently the football is more important.

When the bush near my back door had something eating it to death I was having some mild asthma - just enough to be annoying - and my gardener felt the same way when he looked at it - he cut it off at the roots and because of all the pipes the roots have to stay - the tough part of all of this is the mold on the wall behind it - the gardener cleaned off some of it but not all - I was blaming the fluvax for the way I felt - I don't usually get a reaction to a vaccination so I thought it might be the mold so I got to work.

I put on a mask first and sprayed bleach all over the wall and waiting a while then went out with a bucket of hot soapy water and my garden broom and scrubbed the wall with one hand - quite interesting - I think the bleach made it easier. And my asthma has gone. We are getting some rain tonight so that is going to be even better. I am actually proud of myself for dealing with that - I am doing things lately I would not have considered a few weeks ago.

I think you finished your path smashing Zoe - great stuff - you must be worn out after all that work - I hope your back isn't too painful. Tomorrow you will be with your beautiful kids again - all the best for the new term.

Shaz - I hope Mr Shaz has settled down and realised that because you have the DSP he's not automatically going to get it. He can work after all - when he is okay - I know he gets anxious - that's so tough for you though - you are his carer really - I guess you know what he's likely to do and you can just hope for the best - that's never easy.

Thanks all of you - for your support - writing challenging replies isn't easy and I wonder if the there will be repercussions. These things need to be addressed - I am just wondering what the people who write that sort of stuff expect - but here's something interesting.

So much of my time was taken up by other things - so now I am concentrating on what feels important - this change in my life is really helpful - thanks - all of you

Mumma Bear

Owlunar

Dear @Owlunar

I think it is an important part of group process that people can respond genuinely and thoughtfully as you did. So often there is not a single correct way to respond, so having a community with different people that offer a range of persectives is powerful, IMO. I found it an important step for me, to feel that I did not have to rescue or save people, but could choose to respond or not. We know some hard consequences of irreversible actions. Its not easy.

I am glad your asthma is gone, you figured out the mould was a problem, and could deal with it. Some days we get more done than others. Hope your shoulder is better ... and that you did not overdo it.

@Shaz51

@Zoe7

I transplanted a gardenia. Its finicky, so I am not sure it will be happy by the front door, but there is shade, I prepared the soil and have special food for it ...time will tell.

I am tired and need a good sleep.

Great work on the wall @Owlunar - and with only one arm - that is a massive effort 😁

My back is okay - was quite painful for a couple of days but I took lots of breaks which helped take the pressure off a little. I am off work today as Mum has had to go to hospital - it is only a day procedure but I picked her up and will collect her later to take home. It was going to be too difficult to be at work for just a couple of hours, especially not knowing exactly when I could pick her up so I discussed it with the Principal and we decided it would be best to take the whole day.

@Appleblossom I hope your Gardenia survives and thrives where you have moved it. It sounds like the perfect place for it so everything crossed it settles in well.

@Owlunar @Zoe7

Feeing grateful for a few great days. Especially today. My son helped me clean and vacuum. Then we met his son and went for a walk along the river with a group of 6. Had the most wonderful time with the dear little boy. Then they agreed to visit for 40 mins and so I got to see his little feet pitter patter on my paving stones. Fond memories. Just wanted to share.

Hope you are both not too bad ....

Hugs Apple