Life can be a Pain

Ha ha ... you are right @Escaped_Goat ... our @Owlunar is very wise. 👍😊

@Owlunar ... good to hear that they looked after you so well when you had your MRI on Monday. I have had several MRIs over the years ... and its not exactly a comfortable process. Thankfully I do not get claustrophobic, like my husband. Shame you couldnt get the results of the MRI on Wednesday as originally planned. But perhaps you have received the results by now, as it was today from what you said? I'm with you about a shoulder joint replacement ... I hope I never have to have one. Although I have to say that both my shoulders have been playing up more lately. Perhaps the cooler weather is causing the increased pain.

Oh dear ... another psychologist? Damn! I actually got some good news regarding my psych today. She has sold her business, but it wont change hands until end of June. And after that, it has been decided that she will now work for 2 days per week for the new company. She is happy to continue to do her clinical work, but was fed up with running the business itself. So she is happy with the result, which is a win win. For me too, as I had been dreading the thought of having to find a new psych ... or not having one at all. Sorry you need to wait until June before you get to see the new psych. And also no wonder you were disappointed about the no-show with your planned phone consult this week. Thats very poor form.

Oh you poor thing ... falls are never a good thing. Glad you are okay ... though probably you are still discovering some sore spots.

Oh please dont stop your philosophising ... I like reading that stuff. 😊

Now thats a bit of a treat that you will be seeing your daughter briefly tomorrow. I gather not on Mothers Day due to her needing to work? Some states have reduced some of their restrictions on visitors, but I think VIC have not. NSW can now have 2 visitors to our homes, where as it had been none at all until last week. Things are slowly starting to come back to some normality. Or our new normal ... whatever that ends up being. At least there is now toilet paper on the supermarket shelves. First time last week, and again this week. Yay!

Mothers Day this year will not be the same for me. It hurts each time I see all the ads on TV and all the mothers day gifts in the shops. I keep seeing things Mum would have loved.

Okay ... I need to finish getting dinner ready ... Mr Sherry is cracking the whip. 😧 I hope your evening is restful and restorative for all the aching bits.

Sherry 💕

Hi again @Escaped_Goat @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Zoe7

I have received the results of my shoulder MRI and it's not good. A shoulder replacement is likely - and I am feeling very unsettled this evening and not very happy

I have serious tissue deficiencies in the area and the whole rotator cuff has atrophied - something I have known about for a long time - bone on bone - and no wonder it has been hurting

I tried a few exercises suggested - I didn't push it - just getting into the position was too hard and that's when the pain flared up again early this year - and I guess the pain specialist didn't know right then that the joint had degraded so badly - and since the weather turned cold last weekend everything went south - and now I guess I will have to see a shoulder specialist as well as a pain specialist about this - ouch

So I am not a happy little vegemite - my back has been bad and this was not helped by falling on - yes - I think that was Wednesday - and I went with my helper to do my shopping today and I like to do that - but with social distancing not working very well at times - and my hypervigilence on high - whoops - shoulda stayed at home but I'm glad I did

My doctor saw me this afternoon and he gave me extra strong medication - and that has worked well - I am glad to say - but I am feeling drowsy and think I will go to bed really early tonight

And yes - I am seeing my new psychologist pain specialist in July and I guess I will be seeing a shoulder specialist when I think it over -

My daughter will be dropping here tomorrow - I guess for another standing apart near my front door a metre - giive or take - apart - her company is trading on-right now

And life goes on - this was an interesting week if I don't mind keeping it this way

Good news - I bought myself a new plant in a terramiam for a Mothers Day present - I would really like a kitten - that would be a great present - that would be wonderful - but I have to sort out my shoulder first

And Victoria's locked-down is still tightly restricted - no let up to be thought about until Monday - I like to be better-late-than-never - but ho hum - I think EVERY-ONE is feeling tense about it

If I missed anyone I will catch up later

Dec

Aw - it's hard to cheer up right now

ohhh sending you lots of hugs my second mum @Owlunar

hope you can have some sleep tonight xx

My daughter will be dropping here tomorrow --- that will be lovely

in queensland we are allowed to visit now

I bought myself a new plant in a terramiam for a Mothers Day present --- very nice , what colour

I have a leopard Lily growing in my garden , so my mum wants some , so will dig out one tomorrow for her

I'm so sorry @Owlunar your results aren't good.
sending you hugs ❤️
I hope you can sleep tonight.
ive got my heat pack on my back

take care xxxooo

Hi @Owlunar ... yeah you missed me, but thats okay. You may not have even seen my post. Anyway there is no need to respond tonight. Tomorrow, or another time when you are feeling better is okay.

Gee ... I am really sorry that the MRI results were not better than they were. The report certainly doesnt sound too good. Please take it easy with those exercises too. I think the most important thing for you right now is to stay warm and rest. You will have all sorts of joints, as well as your poor back, all shook up from your fall. As I said in my earlier post ... you will probably be discovering additional sore spots in coming days. Good to hear that the strong medication is working for you. But again ... you do need to be careful with any of those pain medications. You mentioned that you were intending to get an early night tonight. I hope thats the case, and that you are all tucked up warm and safe in bed right now. Remember to take extra care if you need to get up during the night. Some of those meds can make you a little wonky on your feet.

Hey good for you buying yourself a pot plant for mothers day! Awwww ... a kitten would be even better. But I can understand you being a little reluctant to do anything in that regard just yet. Get your shoulder sorted and then you will know you can be home and able to look after the little fellow. But what a treat to look forward to!

Good old vegemite ... it puts a rose in every cheek! Sleep well my friend.

Hi @Shaz51 @BlueBay @Escaped_Goat

Sherry 🌸

@Owlunar Just catching up on notifications but wanted to quickly stop by to say how sorry I am to hear of your MRI results and what that means for you.

Hi @Zoe7 @Former-Member @BlueBay @Shaz51 @Escaped_Goat

I have not had the best weekend ever - enough was happening - and I think it was the shock of reading the MRI report - devastating - how did it get that bad?

Well - I know - I started this wonderful adventure a long time ago and there were times when I couldn't get any help with it - the first surgeon took his time deciding to operate and then it wasn't successful - the second surgeon was years later and he did fix it and it lasted for years before it started to ache again and I think through the last few years I have pretty much ignored it - and this weekend was coming and finally got here but I think I am through the worst of it - touch wood.

I couldn't really sort my emotions out - I asked myself if I was depressed and felt it was okay if I was but I didn't feel hopeless or anything like that - just really tired - okay - my back pain hasn't been bad but the shoulder pain has - I'm used to that - and life will go on -

I saw my daughter yesterday and we had a good chat - she gave me an electic gadget that blows vapour out while it changes colours - and it really helps my hayfever. And a box of chocolates - as usual - love them

What was wrong with me? - I had no energy - just bloody tired. Ahh - I can tell you I did not give the real reason one thought and it was only when I read some posts here I figured out

My son - darn - it's always there - once I realised the exhausted and fed-up-with-myself wore off - and I think it helped that I had made a hot-pot for dinner and it was really great.

But I think that sharing my loss with other people - even after all this time - is important.

He never did fit into this world and his unhappiness was unimaginable - I can only imagine how unhappy he was but I could feel it coming out through his skin at times. I really feel sad for his sake that this was how his life was for him

But I don't think about it all the time - as the years are passing the dark clouds are moving aside and I am remembering more and more of the good times I had with him - he was important to me.

Philosphies - yes - I have a lot - we don't have to be happy all the time but there is no need to be unhappy all the time either

Okay - about my shoulder - nothing can happen anytime soon - elective surgery has been held up for weeks and this will have to be dealt with before I can have a turn - and this isn't a problem - it's good actually because it gives me time to get used to the idea - and decide whether I have joint replacement surgery. Not a fun thought. I may decide to put up with it and of course the pain specialist might try the magic local anaesthetic injections which are wearing off months after having them in my knee.

So - I am feeling okay now - it's amazing how easier the tough days can be when we just accept them - not fun at all - but there is a feeling of being okay about not really feeling okay that can carry me through - anyway - yes - it works for me

Dec

What works for you is okay @Owlunar We all have our ways of getting through those tough days - whether that be acceptance, ignoring or distraction - so do what you need to get through.

You do have time to think about what to do with your shoulder - not an easy decision but I am sure you will make the right one for you.

Today of course you will think of your son - that is natural - nd if any day is the day to think of all those good times then today is certainly the day for it.

So glad you saw your daughter and she was kind to you. Enjoy your chocolates

Thanks @Zoe7

I was definitely concentrating on my shoulder and what I would do - still no decision but give me time - I have plenty of that anyway - one good thing about COVID-19 holding up elective surgery is that I can't get anything done about the shoulder although I can see a surgeon. The one who operated on my in 1994 is still practising and I would prefer to see someone I already know about this.

I could get the miseries and cry "Why me?" but I already know that this is my life and I have had a lot of operations already and orthopaedic operations too - let's not count them up right now. In time I will make a decision and it is painful right now but it will settle down for me as it has in the past - the idea is not to push it. Hey - falling into a sitting position onto the floor was not intended and could have been worse - achey, painey days happen to everyone sometimes - people have far worse conditions - my lot in life is orthopaedic issues and if I feel sorry for myself it's only for short spells and we are all entitled to that.

Maybe it's a sign that I am accepting my son's life and death better - or maybe I was so occupied with my shoulder I didn't think about grief-issues - whatever it was I didn't think about that until I actually got myself on-line - and I do have better memories since I sorted out that 1986 was a really bad year and that was only part of it.

I remember the last Mothers Day really well - he had his first weekend leave from the Juvenile Justice Centre and I went over there on public transport and the wind was brisk enough to cut me off at the ankles but I was glad to be bringing him home for the weekend. He had a carton full of plants he had potted for me - like every one else who has received such a gift I waxed lyrical about them - ah - they all died - but I don't think he ever knew that and that wasn't the point anyway - I have a brown elbow after all - he was excited that he had made something for me himself and obviously I remember it. He wanted a cup of tea and was surprised and wondered how I knew about the little window in the wall in the subway of a station. It was a little coffee-break spot I used often. And I haven't forgotten all these years later and I didn't know it was his last Mothers Day but I remember those cute little things and his surprise about that - I haven't forgotten them

Thanks Zoe

Dec

Hugs @Owlunar

im heating you thst today is particularly hard.

take it easy, rest up, stsy warm

glad you saw your daughter and enjoy those chocolates 🍫 xxoo