Life can be a Pain

Hi @Shaz51 @Former-Member @BlueBay @Zoe7 @utopia @outlander

I remember Easter 3 years ago before I joined Sane Forums when I sprained my ankle and spent 4 days of really gloomy weather feeling gloomy with the two easy chairs pushed today in front of the TV and was really gloomy all the time. I had my foot elevated - boring

And I rang Life Line on the Tuesday after Easter that year and they suggested Sane Forums - among the best things I ever did - and this year was so different

We had some really brilliant days - and my daughter and son-in-law came here on Friday for Easter Buns and on Sunday we texted and I had a long text-chat with my gd who lives on the Sunshine Coast now and I will be going to visit her and see her studio in a few weeks and I had a social visit yesterday and V and I went for a walk out on the pier and it was wonderful - mild but cloudy and I really enjoyed the light and of course - people fishing though I have never seen anyone catch a fish off the pier - it does happen

When we were walking back along the pier whole families were walking abreast and I could get tense but chose to say "Okay everyone - if we all move to one side we will all get through" _ I smiled - I always smile - well nearly always - and people moved aside - wonderful and V walked behind me - she knows I get hypervigilent in such situations

The weather has become chilly and I am getting elderly joints - arthritis and old injuries - I have aches - but I feel okay - this is the beginning of the hard time of year but we are 3 weeks into it and I have had one bad day and hoping that I have sorted through all the stuff and will be okay this year

Thanks for all the support my good friends - I am certainly much better than I was 3 years ago - things have changed a lot in three years - the forum and my friends here have had a lot to do with that

Dec

It is nice that yuo had a little family time over Easter @Owlunar and a pleasant enough walk in there too. A friendly smile often lifts the mood of others too Dec and also makes us feel a little better too.

Winter and the colder months coming are not my favourite either but I don't have the health issues that you do with your knees and back - hope you can stay warm and you don't feel too much pain over the coming months.

It has been great getting to know you over the last 2 and a half years I have been here and I have seen you grow and share more in that time. It does make a difference that we have that soft place to land and somewhere that we can share what is going on for us - and along the way we learn from each other - that is what makes this place so special. Happy 3 year anniversary Dec

Thanks @Zoe7

3 years and an anniversary best wishes - thanks - that is so great

I feel so different compared with 3 years ago - I didn't share much and didn't start this thread until I had been here about a year - I had real trouble opening up but now - I do

I could read back in this thread but I think I posted all over the place before that - it would be hard to find - I guess I really don't have to look - I remember how tough April, May and the first half of winter was and this was the case for decades and now - what a waste of time - ah yes - but it was my time - and I really think I grew through all of that

btw - I am seeing my pain specialist - this new girl with her bright and shiny degree and all her brilliant ideas - in about 2.5 weeks - darn - sooner than I like. I haven't been able to implement the changes she suggested and this was not for want of trying. My GP is supportive - he has seen what the specialist has not and that is how much pain I have been in with attempts to reduce my medication and this has disrupted my life a lot and without his help could have been depressing - he will write me a letter when I attend my next appointment. This is really good. He also says she might have been attempting to make me try harder than was realistic but I guess I know and will stand up for myself - I have reduced as much as I can for now and that has been substantial.

All these different doctors and all their different opinions - thank God for my GP - I have had so much mysterious information in my ears it has been confusing and now the only person I believe.

It was January when I met this girl - and the change of specialist was without warning - and at one stage she was concerned we had lost "raport" - I remember saying that I had never heard what she had suggested before and felt confused - I am glad I said that because confusion is something we can all do without

I am really into standing up for myself - I can be pleasant but tough - I have to remember this and I recollect I was promised a free psychologist with traumatic loss through the pain clinic and this was 4 months ago and I have heard nothing and I will be seeing the hydrotherpist that day too - talk about hurry up and wait.

Actually - it might be time to see a pain specialist in the private sector - I might just be doing that.

Thanks for listening

Dec

I often think these specialists have no personal experience with pain and therefore really do not know what it is like to live with pain @Owlunar So good that you can stand up for yourself and you get the support you need from your GP. Time also to see about the free psychologist.

Thanks @Zoe7

People can read all the books they can find but still know nothing about pain until they have it themselves - one thing my mother always said that makes sense to this day is that once a woman has her first baby her whole attitude to life changes and that is so right -

And I had an easy time giving birth - I do not like watching childbirth on TV with young woman groaning and crying - I can't imagine imagine that

But having had back pain for so long I know this is a whole other world - and there is no predicting what fun I will have when I wake up on any given day - I am having pain this morning and won't see the doctor for hours yet but I don't think I am "hanging out" for the injection I will have this afternoon - having a break over Easter has been okay but today I have gone long enough and my spine feels really fragile

I can never figure out what doctors are talking about when they talk about "weaning off" certain medication. When my babies were at the age of weaning they gave up their bottles without a fuss. My spine is in a worse state than it was nearly 25 years ago and nothing has been done or can be done to repair the damage of extensive disc disease and spinal cord canal stenosis so it's a mystery to me what this smart shiny young doctor imagines could happen.

I have been told over and over that I will never live without pain - this I understand and accept - but is there an idea somewhere that I should live without something to relieve it? Strange ideas - strange expectations

I am not looking forward to seeing the specialist the week after next and I am really glad my GP is so supportive

It's more than just back pain - the whole issue is a different kind of pain all by itself

Still - I never give up without a fight

Dec

There is the big issue of quality of life as wel @Owlunar You can only live your life without the constant excruciating pain and if you need help with that then so be it. This new specialist does not seem to be looking at all the facts here and that is not good for you. I hope the injection today helps you and you can look forward for a while without that constant pain.

I remember that day @Owlunar , like it was yesterday -- 3 years ago

Yes @Shaz51

It's amazing you remember that post - I had to search for that old thread because I changed details but I still had that first post there 30 Years Ago and that was 3 years ago and what a long way I have come

I will never forget though - how bleak that Easter was - how dark things really were for me - and I was holding back my emotions - I really did not feel like exposing my feelings because they all felt too raw to share

But this forum is different - we can share - people here might have emotional discomfort or mental illness and they all feel fragile but we are both gentle and tough

How wonderful

Dec

Hi @Shaz51 @utopia @utopia @Former-Member @BlueBay @Razzle

I have been off colour since the weekend and this is Thursday - nothing serious - just a sort of cold with a stuffy nose and achiness - and I have been very tired but kept my life running but not really feeling myself - though I can't imagine who I might be feeling like (ha ha) - I will be okay - time does pass

We have a good lemon tree on the block and I managed to reach one yesterday and made honey and lemon which helped and the ants found the honey - of course - but this is just one of the issues of life - I don't often get a cold

I would not wish sorrow on anyone but alas - the pain specialist will not be available until late July because of difficulties in her family - I hate it that someone else has a tragedy - and that's how it was described to me - I am really sorry about that but also truly glad I don't have to see her for nearly three months - not that my doctor wants me to keep trying to take less medication - he can see it's not something I can manage right now - it's a futile exercise - the pain gets worse and then takes days to settle and then trying it again is an exercise is being unhappy - I can't see the point

So I wrote a note - I was going to take it with me next week - asking where my quality of life fitted into the programme because I really think that is the first question to ask - and for a long time at the beginning of all of this that was the question which took time to frame - I could hardly believe that I had such a rough time at the beginning but the law changed in 1996 to allow people with chronic pain to have quality of life - that is so important

I am good at standing up for myself and don't feel the need to make other people happy at my expense - it sounds easy but it's not - but it is better to speak my piece rather than let other people tell me what they think I feel - I am - after all - the only person who knows that

Really - I don't think anyone gets up in the morning thinking they will make life hard for other people but it does happen - it's up to us to make life bearable for ourselves

But this time I have a reprieve and my GP will support me - this is good to know

Dec