Life can be a Pain

I was interupted yesterday and didn't finish my post

Yes - the local council provides the workers that come in and do my domestic chores and take me shopping and the girl who organises all of this at the agency has one heck of a job keeping the clients covered for the time they need the assistance

And my Friday domestic help gave notice but at this point I have no idea if there has been anyone else rostered on for me - and every second week I have no regular person for Tuesdays

This is painful - it makes me sweat and get bothered everytime the phone rings - and so often - another shift changed or no one comes

I talked about this with my case worker - but right now there is a rock-and-hard-place thing happening - 3 weeks with a public holiday makes it really hard to cover all the shifts and casual workers can take time off whenever they feel like it - and of course people want holidays - which I understand

So about the girl grabbing my arm to help me out - she won't get into any trouble but she will be told that it is inappropriate to touch someone without their permission

I am not bothered if people get into trouble if they really annoy me - this is hard - I am easy to get along with and my workers like coming here - but I have had a few people that make me wonder why they are working in the area

Yesterday I got a letter from the Council about the Age and Disability Services - this area is being audited because of changes in the area as it is phased from State to Federal Funding - I think I shall have something to say here because it is not easy to have these constant changes - and what can anyone do about it - but it is not helpful to have people turn up with no idea what they are supposed to do - and to explain what I need done

As easy going as I am I sometimes feel as if I am going crackers - how hard is it to make a bed? I would do it myself if I did not have so many musculo/skeletal problems -

I could rant

Thanks for your comments - ah - I know @Former-Member and @Former-Memberdid

And Teej - you are right - I sometimes need to rant -

This is the end of the rant I started yesterday

Dec - ranted out

Hi @Former-Member

Yes - I do want to keep my independence and continue living alone - it is my main focus though it can be hard at times

It would be easy to give up - when my mother went into a really high class facility for the aged she was okay herself and probably could have continued alone - but Dad was getting to much for her - so she went in for his sake

And I am angry that they gave her and A-Frame - because she didn't need it and I guess it was for their insurance and I understand that - but as soon as she had it my mother was dependent upon it

It's not an easy thing to do - when people try and take our sense of self-ability - to maintain that independence - I have had people want to tie my shoe laces when I can do that myself - it happened a lot at church - maybe one reason I stopped going - trying to convince someone that they should leave my shoe laces alone was almost impossible - and guess what - I felt discouraged and had to tie them myself asap when I got the chance

But the shoes I got nearly a year ago now - from Athletes Foot - still have laces that don't come undone - good purchase

Maybe I am through ranting now

Dec

hello @Owlunar

I just had a thought when reading about the person at church feeling the need to tie your shoelaces.

You could next time step on their hand or stamp your foot!

Some people do not understand subtlety. xx

Saturday morning

Ah - yes - I feel better today - the world seemed to come apart on Wednesday - it got very cold here in Melbourne and just about all the things that bother me did - and I finally rang Life Line - those things I don't really want to talk about got talked about - and my throat seized up and I wept a few tears that managed to bring on a monster headache - and Thursday was a total write-off

But I slept during the early evening yesterday - then tidied my place later in the evening - slept well and late and got up and turned on something I had recorded last night but missed and went to sleep again

And it's mid-afternoon and I can say I feel better than I have for days

So for now I have the council stuff sorted and I will speak to my case worker about this on Monday - it's a contradiction of terms to say I should be able to live as stress-free as possible with all of that happening

My cat needs her claws clipped - and I need to see a tax accountant - so next week I already have a short list of things to attend to - hey yes - I rang Centrelink last week about documents they sent to my defunct myGov account - they are sending me paper mail in the good old-fashioned way

There are enough things going on all the time that are normal and we all have to deal with them - then there are the extras - and I am sure that most people reach the end of each week with things they ought to have done - and these things I am good at shifting along

I was going to join Procrastinators Anonymous but I just couldn't get around to it

Dec - feeling heaps better

Hello @Owlunar

Relieved to hear that you managed to release some of those pent up feelings. The fact that you were so affected and slept that long is an indicator of how much you were holding on to.

I imagine today you are feeling a little drained and weary.

Anything to do with "Centrelink" or any government department is draining.

As for Procrastinators Anonymous my application form, yes paper form, is still blank and in one of the many paperwork piles not yet filed under "to do list".

Feeling much better is good to hear and I am sure that you already know that aftercare is still required so gently gently.

xxxx

Hello @Former-Member, @Owlunar, @Former-Member, @Former-Member

Feeling much better is good to hear xx @Owlunar

Hi @Former-Member

Yes - I am still getting over the bad days I had last week - my back pain got really bad on Friday - and I had to sleep a lot yesterday to catch up with myself and I slept in this morning as well - but that's okay - I feel better now and it's after lunchtime today and I still have to have something substantial to eat - but I don't feel like falling asleep all the time

I have decided I will take a walk today - after I have had something to eat - and of course put my track pants on - and maybe a proper shirt rather than a T-shirt- and just get some fresh air -

We all up up-times and down-times - part of the journey is learning that - and accepting that - I feel I did that hard work now I just have to live with it

Dec

Hello @Owlunar

Glad to hear that you rested when your body told you to.

Out in the sunshine is an old fashioned remedy.

Your journey is ongoing my friend, with twists and turns and unknown adventures ahead. It doesnt have to all happen today. That is something that I have learnt. I am of course still practising to change patterns of a lifetime. Living in the now.

May the sun shine down on you and warm your soul with it's glow. xxx

Thanks @Former-Member

I am listening to my body today - it's telling me to go and lie on my bed but the cat is taking up most of the space by lying in the sun right in the middle of it

How clever cats are - how could anything else so small take up so much room? Ah - but then I know cats - she thinks she is the boss but I decided to get on the computer - just taking today quietly - I have enough things planned for business tomorrow

So listening to myself - just ride along in life - I cope with the things I must do and most of the things I ought to do and close my mind to the shoulds - I usually attend to things when it irritates me enough that they are necessary chores

Back to the hard work of taking it easy

Dec