Life can be a Pain

Thanks @Zoe7

I know I will be okay - I always am - the gift of time and a difficult life have taught me to sit in the rain and last it out

But early this morning the wind and rain around here was not like that - and I guess today is a day I just endure and like every day in my life from before this until the end of my days will pass -

One thing I have learned is the chiaroscuro of life is a gift - the shadows enhance the light and give depth and meaning - a light that was all light would life definition

Thanks Zoe

Dec

Thanks @TAB

I used to yak at my cat and repeat her many meows - I have no idea of what the hell we were talking about and I guess she didn't but we communicated something

Another cat? - no - I am planning to travel - I have been putting it off because of the cat and right now I can't focus my mind of a trip with other things happening - including Christmas - but New Zealand sounds pretty good - my sil's comes from there and all his kids - and my grandmother was born there too

Pity about the oxytocin - I guess I have had enough all these years to last out the rest of my life -

I'll be okay -

Dec

You are right @Owlunar - the shadows enhance the light and give it meaning - so true

Our lives are full of light and dark moments and it is only in seeing the darkness that we can truly see the light. One needs each other to be fully visible.

Sometimes we do however see so much darkness and when the light does shine we need to hold on to it as long as we can.

Today is filled with darkness for you but the light that your son also brought into your life is there also - hold on to that Dec and remember the good times

thinking of you big time today @Owlunar

Thanks @Zoe7

As deeply troubled as my son was he was really beautiful - he was highly intelligent and could present an argument brilliantly based on what he knew - he was so good at it we called him "The Little Pharisee". I think he would have been a great barrister - it was not to be and I would have been happy enough if he had made a career as a labourer - which is the kind of work he did. Actually - I think he liked working - it gave his life structure for a while and this meant a lot to him - but he couldn't focus for long enough

He had a gift with language - who knows where this life could have gone - among my bright memories are the expressions unique to him and how clever and original they were

Of course they still live - I remember them often and still laugh and still wonder

I have a headache worth having today - I am cooking dinner - early - and I think I will go to sleep this afternoon - I never feel much like organise or eating a meal if I sleep during the afternoon -

The day is passing - I knew it would - and support from other people is really helpful -

I don't like sharing my dark times much but I have learned it's a good idea -

Dec

.

Thanks @Shaz51

Often it is by sharing that we lessen the load on ourselves @Owlunar Being an inedpendent woman does not mean that we have to carry everything alone and here is a great place to be sharing both the good and hard times because we can all relat and/or empathise in our own way. The struggles may be different but the pain is felt by many and in that way we can stand with you

Yes @Zoe7

We are all unique and express ourselves differently - I have learned to break away from the WASPy Anglo-Celtic background which still exists in others and freezes the soul -

How can we express ourselves naturally when so contrained?

It 3.20 pm I have eaten my dinner - I have soup already for tea when I get back to the world - it seems quiet around here - not to many small planes flying around the airport here today - let's take advantage of this and find a book I have not read for a while

Share it - yes - it does not load load me up when others share - let's leave the constrictions of my early life in a deep hole and walk away with my tears - that way the face I present is for real

Dec

Thinking of you heaps @Owlunar love and hugs. ❤️❤️