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Life can be a Pain

DecadianSenior Contributor07 Feb 2017, 1:19 pm AEDT

Life can be a Pain

Hi @BlueBay@Zoe7@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@utopia@oceangirl@TAB@Shaz51@PeppiPatty

I know there are more people I could tag but maybe I will think them up as I go along - actually I already have

I think I need my own thread - mostly my problem is chronic pain syndrome - I damaged my spine with the sporting excesses of my youth - a long time ago now - and I managed to rearrange it when I fell of my pushbike in a wind storm nearly 22 years ago and that seems a long time ago now but there is nothing they can do except treat the pain - and I do have Section 8 medication and I see a pain specialist

And the pain has been worse lately and wears me down and I get fed up and very tired -

I have issues with my mother as well - and although she died 2 years ago I still have bad times now and again - she was abusive and as well as I know myself and her this can get to me at times - and this is another reason I opened my own thread

Then there is TS - my Toxic Sister - she was under my skin for a while but not at the moment

So yesterday I felt so bad when I went to see the doctor about my back pain - and my pain specialist has cut my medication back several times over the last few years and she has gone too far - and I started to tell my doctor - yes - I cope with the pain better since my mother died - but it's driving me crackers atm and so are the memories of my mother

So that's it for now - I have had trouble opening this thread for some reason but now I have - I will run my own story - I would like to think I don't need to but yes - I do

You are all such wonderful supportive people - you are my soft place to land - that is so true

And anyone I have missed I will tag as I go along

Lots of hugs everyone

Dec

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In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember23 May 2018, 10:42 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Thanks @Owlunar, i'll remember that, maybe get a couple books from op shop 😁. Getting old is tough. Think you & i are the oldest here. Sorry you feel your age. There's a poem thats comes to mind, about 'the golden years' see if i can find it, give you a smile. Lol

Hugzz❤❤❤

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

AppleblossomSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 11:00 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

I am thinking There are a few older than you @Former-Member

.... me ...

You arent over 60 are you?

I have started some light reading and its Austrlalian/Brit

"Four Respectable Ladies Seek Part time Husband"

set in rural Oz after WW1

its fun.

Tho I doff my hat to @Owlunar

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 8:01 am AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Hiya @Appleblossom, thanks for your post, & the previous one too, very understanding. And i'll keep an eye out. Not that i get time for novels lol
About age - i am.
Two you said poisoned my vulnerable early days, distroyed my first time tech reaching out & it hurt for a very long long long time😖 U were there.
I get enough rubbish irl (ppl who don't know me at all & specialise in poisoning my supports) @Faith-and-Hope saved me (i'll never forget my sunflower), a counter-balance. Thank you F&H🌹
But i learned much, it tought me
- not to be defined by others
- its them not me
- i don't have to 'wear' it
- online bullying is real
- i don't have to be an easy target for bullies another day
Thanks, but trust there is gone, i have another scar to
remind me.

@Owlunar, did you wake up refreshed? Must find some 'ageing' jokes to practise laughing things off a little. What choice do we really have lol

Drat, gotta run, dads nurse about to arrive.

In response to: Life can be a Pain

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 9:40 am AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Morning ladies ......

Watching a Netflix series at the moment called The Crown ..... it seems to be historically quite accurate, and is filling in events that were happening as I was a child and unaware of how they helped to shape the history of this country along with the rest of the world.

I have been hearing you @Former-Member. You are continuing to flex that incredible muscle you have and stay on course when the winds of your family are trying to blow you around everywhere ..... hard yards in every direction you look.

The thing that stands out to me is that you were there for your Mum in every capacity you could be, every capacity that her own psychological injuries would allow, and that was magnificent for two reasons that I can see ...... you were true to yourself, and you have that going forward - you did the best that it was possible to do, and that is more than most other people would have,could have, coped with. My MIL. is just as difficult, but I don’t have childhood scars from her the way you did with your Mum, and you shared enough of those with us to understand how terrible it was, often. That was grace under fire, and you are still doing it ......

The second thing is, if you had stayed away, your own values would have ached over the fact that you didn’t go to be with her .... but you did ..... so for your own truth to yourself, you were there, despite the fact that she remained so emotionally inaccessible. I remember too the post you shared about the relationship with a narcissistic mother. That wasn’t my experience, but it was my mother’s ..... and it has been for many, many others here ..... having the courage to put a voice to that shows your brave heart @Former-Member, and lights the way for others to do the same.

Here are some more sunflowers ..... 🌻🌻🌻 ..... and when I am in possession of my iPad later, and more of my wits than I have right now, I will post you the sunflower I keep for you ...... I see it every day when I am flicking through my images ..... and I pray over you when I do ......

Just spoke to my Dad who is currently on the other side of Australia. Bless him. Still going strong. Wish I could be with him more, but the reason I am Not is the reason I am here on the forums.

Hugs ❤️

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

AppleblossomSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 2:20 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Glad you can speak to your dad. @Faith-and-Hope

but it is a pity that MI takes up so much energy and time.

@Owlunar

@Former-Member I did not realise that, but am very glad you persisted and hung around. How people click or not can be tricky. I think you @Owlunar and I connected very quickly discussing grieving, and for people who had not experienced a more close traumatic grief, there is just not the resonating of feeling or understanding. It cannot be manufactured, it has to have been lived.

I also find you three wonderful inspiration and companionable. We will never be exactly the same and dont need to be.

I was also new to social media type technology when I joined this forum, so did not take much for granted.

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Shaz51Senior Contributor24 May 2018, 2:43 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

reading all your messages and sending you all hugs

we must be the youngest here @Faith-and-Hope

Hello @Appleblossom, @Former-Member, @Owlunar xxxx

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 3:06 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Thanks @Shaz51@Appleblossom@Faith-and-Hope@Former-Member

I think I might be among the oldest people here - I'm in my 70s and I feel it

I am really tired today - I feel as if I will write later but taking it really quietly today - I think I feel a little better than I have been though

Thanks Apple - about the Lived-Experience of Loss - true - it cannot be invented and it is also something that those in the bereaved parents department don't want anyone else to know really - but we do share - we need to share and my love for @Former-Member is invaluable

Back later - I think I will be in tonight

Dec

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 7:04 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

l@Dec

Aww shucks @Owlunar precious friend, cheer up soon❤

Hi Shaz51, made smile - yep, you guys are babies lol ❤

Appleblossom, F&H thank you 🙂 ❤

In response to: Re: Life can be a Pain

OwlunarSenior Contributor24 May 2018, 8:32 pm AEST

Re: Life can be a Pain

Right @Former-Member

I can't change anything about getting older and don't tell me about the alternative - when I get old enough I will leave gracefully like my Dad did when he time came

But get used to it - I doubt that

You are a treasured friend

Dec

Hang on