Life can be a Pain

I found a pic I sent to my alternative account and it might be too big - but here it is

This is one of my photos - I took it beside the Lake where I was staying - it was lovely there - so much wild life - but let's say I was quick enough to catch and dispose of the huge mozzies I had in my room the first night

@Former-Member - It was not your fault at all that so much crap happened in your life - actually - these things are life changing - and having J die the way she did would define your life the way my son dying defined mine. But after that nothing has defined my life again - I have been in charge

I don't believe in suffering in silence - but I am careful who I tell - oddly - total strangers can be the best people - there is no commitment there - and no over-reaction - but it does explain how I enjoy my life - even alone in a strange city or town - and walking for miles to get a brunch of ham, cheese and tomato toasties and one night - fish and potato cakes - I eat healthy snacks and drank the best coffee in the chairs outsie my room.

I thought your son was 16 - maybe that was a typo - but he is past the awkward age - and dd was bristling for a long time and still doesn't want to say much about my son. The thing is she has no idea of why he was in prison and I have never told her and as far as I know there isn't anyone likely to know either -

But having TS interfer in our lives seems to have worn thin with dd - and she has been so much nicer since our aunt died last year - she was upset to be the bearer of bad news when she had to tell me my aunt died - and I cried - then she rang up after the funeral to see how I was - and since then she has texted more and rung me from time to time - perhaps as time passes young people don't just grow up - they mature - they learn - and I just thought that the rupture between you and your family members might be upsetting your son - and it is not your fault - it seems to me that you do the best you can with a bunch of dysfunctional siblings and your frail, aging parents - and he could step past you to them - dd did this with my family - so you could tell your son to visit his grandies when he wants to and let him find the truth for himself and keep hands off

God - things can be brutal

@Former-Member - I guess for some people the kids can be "babies" forever and it's okay - I have never thought like that - but gd is a grand-woman - I am so pleased with her - she is a responsible and sensible young woman just starting off for herself.

I got her a present - she does a lot of art - she made me a dream catcher for my birthday - last year - and it is of a professional quality - so I got some beautiful sea-urchins - they must have been cleaned up because they are white and mauve and look beautiful - also some resin sea-horses and a stick of coral - I bet she can make something really wonderful with those - it's up to here.

Hi @Shaz51

I am glad your mother is recovering - that is a huge operation for anyone and at her age - wow

@Former-Member - I am glad to hear from you too - I guess your life has been up and down also - you have been in my thoughts

Travelling alone has benefits - I could not do a tour - I could not keep up with other people - I need to work the whole thing around my spine - but I did have the chance to think about my on-line Forum Family while I was gone - if life was easier I might take my computer - but it is heavy and one suitcase on wheels and hand luggage is enough -

But yes - I do love my own bed and my own house and my own shops that are handy and my fridge and washing machine

And I did get enough clothes dried on Saturday night to wear yesterday and now I have a pile of ironing but I also have a strong feeling I am not likely to iron myself - I have someone coming on Friday and she will iron

Dec

You are right @Former-Member - puddy tat had a major melt-down - I have been away several times - just for a few days - several times during the last 13 years - but this is the first time I have had such an angry confrontation - it's like she couldn't catch up on all the times she couldn't go in or out when she has been trained to stand at the door to go out - I think it might have been pretty hot in here without the A/C

Back in 2010 I was in Launceston for a few days when my rellies shouted me a holiday - and when I got home it was cold and bleak - my clothes were wet and I had the heater on and it was hard work just getting into the bath with the cat - some years younger then - ran behind me wherever I went - and I went to bed with my bad back and the cat joined me and this was funny

She kept staring at me - and her eyes would start to close and suddenly open wide to check that I was still there

I think it's kinder to leave an old cat in her own home alone rather than put her in cattery - where she has never been - after all - even if I am not here she is in her own home and has the run of the place.

She could get stressed in a cattery - the vet has told me that seeing as she has a Urinary Tract Disorder she could get crystals in her bladder from stress and die - I know she has to go over the Rainbow Bridge sooner or later - but let's not hurry the event - she is a wonderful cat - naughty tortie though

Dec

@Appleblossom

Hi - Apple - I love the pics - they are beautiful

I missed everyone - and it's wonderful to get so many messages -

@Former-Member - I love that olive oil - baby oil pic - really clever -

Thanks @Owlunar, my son was different this time, less agitated, only snapped once when I asked him to look at my computer "fine! I'll do what YOU want me to do then shall I!" Apparently my trying to discuss the problem for advise is 'nagging' (sigh), he has an IT degree but it seems he needs to be treated as a special 'guest' (not regular family) as I see it. That's ok I guess if I could just 'get it right' more often. He's pretty good on the whole, love him so much. He's sad about losing, breaking up with the love of his life, his 'best friend' and her family who were good to him, he got teary talking about it. I'm not sure if I said the right things. Sometimes, as quick as I get a good word to say, it flies out out of my head, sometimes even while I'm trying to relay it - so then the coverup sounds stupid having 'lost' the point etc grr. Hate that, think I'm out of practise with the art of conversation. He's good about it I guess. Not too oft thank goodness. Hope there's some healing for him touching base with his parents and childhood home at least. Hug him real tight on arrival and departure. Never wanting to let go, words cannot convey that as well. I feel sorry for him that I have MI and he doesn't have a 'full quid' (as they say) for a mum. I try, but are we ever really 'enough'

Plan to see him again next w'end as I've been wanting to see his new unit and attention a Brisbane Compassionate Friends "Remembrance Walk" where we all go to the river, symbolically throw a flower in and have a BBQ lunch together. Its a new'sh event - a beautiful way to remember my girl. I'm amazed my S1 is jumping at the idea of joining me for that after spending the night with him. Be good for him to go too i think 🙂

Betta go start my day, so good to see you Dec xox

Oh, your pics came through, lovely! Something about the water. You've inspired me to save up and do the same, even of I am alone. I have wanted to sleep by the beach and listen to the waves crashing all night. If anyone knows a place like that near the Qld/NSW boarder - let me know

Glad Olive/Baby Oil gave you a laugh 🙂

@Decadian There are people who's only concern in the morning is how hot their coffee is... I don't envy them.

Hi @Owlunar

just wanted to say hi. I've been thinking of you and want to write you a post deserving of you but have been struggling to write much lately unless it's something I'm experiencing too. I will try later today. I hope your day is ok 💜🤗

Hi @Former-Member

That is a pretty good post- perfect actually

It's taking me a while to get my act together after being away - yesterday I seemed to need to sleep most of the day - I had the whole day to myself and seemed to sleep a lot - maybe I was catching up

My back ached a lot on Sunday after the train trip on Saturday - next time I go on a train I am going First Class - sitting up straight and rigid was too hard - so I need to make my life as comfortable as possible

I really picked the best week to go - we have had indifferent weather this summer - and yes I had perfect weather the whole time I was away - yesterday we had thunderstorms and heavy rain - today it's cooler but still damp

Nevertheless my garden looks wonderfully green today - after my dd and gd cleared all the weeds and trimmed back the vines and really did a good job of it - it's very small but it got out of hand during the wet and then hot and sunny then wet and hot and sunny weather we had all summer.

It's great to hear from you - I imagine life is getting along with you in it - I know you have bad spells you don't really want to talk about - or can't really talk about - this is you and I understand

I'll be around more as I gather my scattered wits - I not only have my own life to sort out now I am home but I have to catch up with people in the site - and I missed everyone

Dec

Hi @Owlunar, this pic looks exactly like me every other day, ouchy!! How about you? What a pain grr Actually found this article about a pain medication... Oh best just cut & paste: