Life can be a Pain

Thanks for touching base here @Owlunar, 💜 Lots of self care for you 💜 People dropping like flies around us can be disarming, makes us feel powerless and sad. Just do what we can and let the rest go . . . God is in control❕

Chin up! 💜

big big hugs @Owlunar we are here for you

Hi @Faith-and-Hope@utopia@outlander@Former-Member

Thanks very much for your messages - and that wonderful picture Lapses

I haven't heard anything about my family - I tried to tell the person I spoke to last week to please let me know personally how things were going - that messages to my sister would not be passed onto me and I don't think she got this message at all - I am not going to say to her that if my relative who is seriously ill right now might die and that previously my sister has not told me about a death in the family - uh oh - no way to I say that but I did try and that wasn't heard

I am so tired of people not listening to me - I know they are not because they do not let me finish what I am saying - sheesh - I might be getting older by I am not losing my marbles and my sister is that toxic - oh boy - and I am not paranoid - she really is that bad and so much damage has been done in the past

Yesterday was a potent date too - I survived yesterday but today I feel as if I have been dragged backwards though a hedge and really distressed about so many things happening that I have no control over - I am really sure other people understand this - I read a lot of posts I don't respond to -

And at Christmas time too - we could sure live without that

I did do something special for myself yesterday Utopia - I had a new disc - Victoria and Abdul - really good movie - I watched it twice yesterday - it was worth it

Today - I think I will find a novel I haven't read for a while or watch a recorded movie or another disc - whatever - anything to pass the time while keeping myself okay

I spoke to my doctor on Friday and have a medicare plan to see yet another psychologist - starting again - 4th time lucky - one died and the other two moved interstate - what am I doing to them - I am sure btw that it is not my fault - just a bit strange

One thing I have learned though life is that as unpleasant as it is - anxiety about many things is entirely normal and natural as well as nasty and this is common to women and some men - maybe many men - and we can survive it - I find keeping to myself the best thing for me but feel it a good thing to let my support group know what is happening in my life to make me withdraw

I left the church a long time ago - I was sexually harrassed by an alcoholic who as since died and that's not what made me leave - rather it was the attitudes of some people there who seemed to think I should have kept it to myself - now I know things have changed but still I feel unlikely to go back and I do miss it -

Having people treat us in a dismissive way can diminish us - I haven't allowed that to happen to me but I feel as if I lost a big part of my life by leaving the church

I've said enough - I could say more but no - that is more than enough - there are so many things I could say but either cannot or will not -

Thanks everyone for your understanding and friendship

Dec

I will write it after lunceh @Owlunar xx

I have written it in "the Ups and Downs of my husband`s MI "

and also in the thread called "Trouble "

Thanks @Shaz51

My battery is nearly flat and it's time for me to have lunch too - so I will look at those other threads

I will be back later

Dec

Hi (((((((❤ @Owlunar ❤))))))) its so hard on our own this time of year. I'm wondering too if you might have a bit of post surgery depression? GA can sometimes do that for 6months or so, how long were you under?

😖 I too have gone into withdrawal mode - locked the house, closed curtains yesterday (after a really confronting day), put the phone on silent and might hide my car later. People everywhere are cruel to each other and strange this time to of year - its confusing me - my family confuse me most. Need to sit quiet with my own thoughts a while, try figure out what to do. Find our feet in the little things.

Is this how you feel Dec?

We got to Centre ourselves, & pray, or something like that. We are so lucky we have the Lord to do this with, we ar not alone.

I think when we're lonely we automatically think of others cause we secretly wish we all got along beyter, and because we are all a part of each other. Mother Teresa has a quote:

"if we have no peace in us

It is because we have forgotten

that we belong to each other"

This is hard because some ppl are so hard to be around and don't share the same values. That's when she says we have to

"love them anyway" grr

Don't think this means we have to race out to gathetings and pretend everything is fine. Being 'real' is fine, its also important to have times to bunker down, take shelter, stay safe & or heal. But atvthe same time - monitoring ourselves for signs its worse than just a normal reaction & reach out. I have finally eaten something, had a shower & typing away to you, and no pressing SI (thank goodness, just wrird & floaty and an urge to drive away and disappear for Christmas... but... I'm thinking I'm ok so far.

Dec, How are you with practical activities? - showering, food & fluids the main ones I guess?

This time of year can be so confronting & so hard. We have to Be our own best friend Dec. I stock up on my fav movies & munchies and try to take up at least one offer to celebrate - if it comes or go do something nice.

Attending church, just warming a pew at first can get you back there, I think if you can forgive the stupid comments of others and go, this would be good - you need this. Apparently we have to teach people how to treat us.

I know your tired, but take it easy, you can do this 💜💜💜

Hi @Former-Member

Yes - it might be the GA that is making me feel a little off-colour atm - I was under about an hour - and I had a lot more done inside the knee itself this time - there is a lot of relief knowing I am not likely to need a knee replacement but for several weeks until I saw the Orthopaedic Surgeon I was rattled thinking I might need that and that must have a backlash - for a week or so after the surgery I also felt that my mind and my body were not in the same place - pretty sure that was the GA

People can be incredibly cruel to each other - mostly I think they are only looking after their own interests or do it thoughtlessly - some have a nasty turn of mind but still - I get it that you feel the need to withdraw - and I understand - I am more likely not to go out - but still walk in the evening. I overdid things on Friday and my knee and my back have been telling me all about it all weekend and still - it's Sunday afternoon and still hurts - but I feel okay - I think

But yes - I do believe it's okay to sit and pray a lot - or stay in bed and pray a lot - or talk to God in a conversational way a lot - whatever way works - I do pray in bunches - and God gets that

But I can't contact my relatives - handing that over to God was hard and I am not sure if I have quite done it yet - I feel really worried - having frail-aged relatives that we love can really stress us and you would know that by now with your oldies

I do all the self-care things - I play the piano as well - I eat raw vegetables - salads - a lot and water is my drink of choice - I'm sleeping well - I sleep late because I go to bed late - so yes - I have always been into self-care - if I don't do it no one else will and I have no desire to go into residential aged care - I know already I wouldn't fit in

Right now I am not really thinking of going back to church - the people at the church were worse than stupid - they were cruel - and I have been back but still - I am wondering if I will attend a church of a different demoniation because it is closer but not sure because my understanding of scripture is not fundamental but orthodox and I am an orthodox Christian

But yeah - I have been thinking of seeing the new minister - I have no idea of who it might be but I can talk to them if I go there - or I can go into the city and have communion at the Cathedral which is a small group of city workers taking time out at lunchtime - I stopped going into the city some years back when going in the train got a little difficult

There are choices and I agree we need to forgive the stupid (or cruel) things that people say for our own sake but also for our own sake - we don't go back there. Still things change - they always change.

It was the anniversary of the adoption yesterday - people would think a birthday harder I think but the memory of adopting a baby is pretty much the memory of a culture shock - oh - I don't know about other adoptive parents but this was a huge culture shock for me - a harder change than actually having a baby

People belong to each other and many people forget that - I had not thought of it actually but yes - we do and systemic breakdowns in family happen - it happens in churches too - and other institutions - we would like to have a loving family about but maybe people turn up at baptisms and weddings and funerals and behave as if they are part of a loving family and go away until the next event -

But that is such a good point that people belong to each other - I will think on that

Thanks Lapses

Dec