Life can be a Pain

Hi @Appleblossom

Thanks for your post - I am so glad I had this third arthroscopy - I had the same surgeon as the last time and 6 years ago he took a benign tumour out of it - since then I have had a lot of wear and tear but speaking to him yesterday about the prognosis of the joint was such a relief I went to sleep during the afternoon and then early in the evening and went to be early and slept until late - we can often not know how something is impinging on us

This time he cleared out the cartilage that was causing me a sense of loss of balance before hand - and after I had the MRI I was told I needed a knee replacement which is not likely to happen - boy that idea really bothered me

warring siblings - yes - I seem to be in good company here - it makes me wonder what my sister - who has stirred up trouble in the family since she was old enough to complain - has to say about all of this - I could live a peaceful life without her - I am totally not interested in her esteemed control over the world - in fact I had a dream once where I was at a family Christmas Party and she turned up and I told her that the sun would continue to rise in the east whether she was present as every family event or not

Really - I think she does feel as if she needs to be in control of everything and as we all know - no one is and the world rolls on happily regardless

atm I am in a bad mood with her - this happens now and again and I will never act on it so I think it's okay

Fitting in - yes - I wonder if I ever did fit in - anywhere - I was often involved in things for the content rather than the form - now I like life alone where I know I cannot possibly walk on anyone's feet. However it was strange to read on the report about the Federal Aged Care plan that I was socially isolated. Really - until I read that I had no idea that was a formal description of me

Learning to be okay fitting in seems and okay idea to me - maybe it's not for everyone

Dec

It helps when you know and trust your doctor.

The first I had heard of sibling rivalry was from my husband.He still hates his big brother the retired respected University Professor and now even my son brings their conflict into his own personal MI struggle even though he only met this uncle a few times in one brief trip to the US.

Somehow my ex husband seemed to magnify any slight difference in our family. Now my surviving sister and I cannot speak but I loved her for the first 30 years of my life.

Our family muddled along in its extremely poor and wounded way. I was more focussed on the love and loyalty than the differences and encouraged my brother to be friends with my husband. That might have been a mistake as the ex was cynical and hurt in his heart, jealous of his successful older siblings. He may have turned my brother against me more than I realised at the time. I thought and encouraged my husband as successful in his own right but he had to compare himself and not build on the family strengths.

Now they have a polite distant international sense of family, but my poor family is smashed to smithereens. Totally different cultures rich and poor. Though we were much poorer we did have ethics and values. I have no choice but to accept the damage done. All 3 of us siblings married new Australians from different parts of the globe. The real capacity for empathy between them all was too hard and cohesiveness was low despite my attempts, so the mental illness won out.

I know mixed ethnic backgrounds works in some situations but not ours. Sorry to be negative.

Gotta go and be positive ...not dwell ... do some music practise and gardening.

Take care. It is strange reading official files about our own selves.

thats great news @Owlunar

@Owlunarhavent seen you on for a few days

how are you going?

Hi @OwlunarDec, hope you're OK 💜

Hi @outlander and @Former-Member

I haven't been in for a few days - I feel really useless when I get overwhelm by life and this happens from time to time

I can never think of what to say - I find it hard to read other people - I just find it best to sit it out and this is the only way I know how to deal with it - and that's okay

Yesterday I had a bad headache and made mistakes with so much issues it was really a bother - but this is today and I had mixed up appointments - I made new ones and I will see my dentist next year and I get my hair cut tomorrow

So yes - I have grief issues which are made a little harder because the way I normally deal with it is to walk but right now just going up to the shops is far enough - my knee though is getting better

I can walk by bending and straightening my knee normally - which I couldn't do before the operation - now I can just walk but I have to tell myself how - and the muscles in my leg have to get used to it

So yeah - I really hate it when I can't feel as if I can be here for anyone but hopefully things will be easier now I am walking better

Thanks for your messages - there is a great deal of thought for other people in this forum and I do notice this and appreciate it

Dec

im glad your recovering ok @Owlunar thing have been really hard for you too hey

your always welcome even just to check in

@outlander@Former-Member@Appleblossom@utopia@Faith-and-Hope

Hi Peeps

Things are not good in my extended family right now - not good at all

Some of my favourite rellies are ill and suffering a great deal - one of them wrote and told me abouit their social isolation - there is a lot of trouble in their lives right now as well as health issues

I rang back and she said she was busy and not well and I could hear that - but wow - I am so worried about another member and I get it that he might not be well enough to talk but the one I spoke to pinched me off and I do not bother them too much - and I can't write about their affairs - but yes

I am really worried about them and it feels really rough right now

Really - so much has been happening in my life right now - and I don't feel like talking much when I feel so bleak but I am still here and just dropping in to let people know

Dec😪