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Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

TaikaCasual Contributor19 Feb 2025, 4:10 am AEDT

Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

Hi, I am new to the forum and I am processing, reprocessing, another change in my diagnosis. I have struggled with my mental health since I was very young and come from a violent and abusive background. I get lost in knowing who I am at some points as the more I am told have wrong with me, the less I trust my own insight. I was diagnoses with cptsd with dissociative symptoms and ocd as a teenager after my mum dumped me out and relinquished care when I was 13. By 14 doctors had added schizophrenia, then taken it away and decided I had conduct disorder. Then by the time I was in my twenties they told me I had bipolar 2. Then I didn't, then I did again, and now I am told that I have bpd. I was finally also diagnosed with adhd and autism. As a kid my mum hid my issues because she worried they would expose what was going on at home and told everyone, with the help of a naturopath that all my stuff was because I was allergic to watermelon. I guess I wasn't the girl they wanted. Now I have received this again I kinda am a loss to know how to feel. I feel further like I do not know myself. I read the articles.. the stories and think.. I'm not angry or violent, well except to myself, I just feel a lot. I guess I want to read about others experiences navigating this as I found it all overwhelming and when they tried to put me on a gazillion meds I just went cold turkey on the lot. l feel like less of a zombie but I cry constantly. But, I am left asking do I know me? What insight do I have on how I act with others? That is the other thing, I don't try to keep relationships, I know they won't last so I usually just leave. Yeah, sorry for the ramble.

4 replies

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In response to: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

SnowflakeSenior Contributor19 Feb 2025, 4:58 am AEDT

Re: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

Hi @Taika,
I just wanted to welcome you to the forums, it takes a lot of courage to be so open. It sounds like a very frustrating journey with the change of diagnosis, and I'm sure you will find you are definitely not alone here. I can't imagine how difficult it has been to navigate the world with so much going on for you. Please feel free to keep reaching out and I hope through our community here you can find support and know you are not alone through this

In response to: Re: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

AppleblossomSenior Contributor19 Feb 2025, 7:22 pm AEDT

Re: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

@Taika @I have cPTSD too

its the main label that makes sense of my life

i have seen a lot of labels thrown around at people… Nowadays I don’t believe they (MH services) don’t know as much as they think … but when we are vulnerable we tend to accept any health available…. Beggars can’t be choosers….

developing insight… Is a complex skill …probably one I will work on til the end

I am pretty old… and found experimenting with life… my interests and activities are part of identity… as much as what your preferences in colour, clothing or music…may be

some things change and some stay the same…

gently bentlyapple

In response to: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

MissDiagnosisCasual Contributor19 Feb 2025, 11:59 pm AEDT

Re: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

Hi

It just goes to show the ineptitude of psychiatrists doesn't it. They'll diagnose you in a moment and that's supposed to stick for life. Mental illness is not a Life sentence. You don't need to be classified and drugged into oblivion and subsequently deteriorate from mood stabilisers and more SSRI and antipsychotics.
There's nothing such thing as a quick fix for any imental illness except a headache.
You need to think about post medication follow up treatment and see a pill free life as your objective.
Unfortunately doctors these days don't have time to discuss what's truly best for your development and stability. A diagnosis is no way to verify that is what you are. In fact a diagnosis will most likely make you more isolated and losing a sense of identity.

In response to: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

MeerkatMonstaCasual Contributor21 Feb 2025, 2:26 am AEDT

Re: Just had my diagnosis changed for the millionth time

Hi @Taika,

Sorry to hear you’re going through a rough experience with your diagnosis and sharing your story and struggles. I’ve had a similar experience with what you’ve shared.

A few things to note with Psych meds is that they have post depressive affects after going cold turkey on them. I’ve done this 3 times already. The dissociative experience you have after being dosed up on psych meds do leave a post depressingly feeling and it’s numbing when you look at how things a going and all you can see is a label of “mental illness” from the doctor and my personally worst was gaining weight, depression, rashes and severe dry mouth, horrible acne trialing ranges of medications. Some tools that help me understand this stuff better is prayer, exercise, journaling in this experience.

Im sure there’s hobbies and interests that bring or have in the past brought joy in your life which I think someone might have already mentioned. Give yourself grace and love, don’t be so hard on yourself because I’m sure you’ll get back to a stronger version of you. From experience I’ve learned that the old version of me exists in the present me with the diagnosis you just have to find the things you like to adjust to and with this extra “sprinkle” (diagnosis) into your now life. It takes time but your still the you that has gotten you this far, it’s taken me 3 years and I still get set backs and trying to manage it.

I hope that give you some peace and comfort I believe you can get through this.

God Bless.

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