New here... not sure if it'll help

hey there @Tresquel firstly - welcome to the forums!

i'm so sorry to hear that you haven't had a safe space to speak about what you're dealing with, i can imagine how isolating it must be to hold onto so much on your own. the forums community is most definitely here to listen, we want you to feel heard and seen. whether you want to chat, be distracted, or need some help finding supports/resources, we've got you.

sitting with you 💜

@Tresquel Hello and welcome to the forums. Thankyou for sharing your story, that really takes courage. I'm sorry to hear what you have been through, the mental health system is far from perfect.

I second what @rav3n said though. You are not alone here and we are more than happy to support you however we can. I'm usually around a bit and I'm always happy to chat about anything or just sit with you in the moment.

Take care of yourself 😊

Thanks @rav3n & @Former-Member but forums are one of those things that are honestly hard to use because typing things out can be triggering in itself.

I appreciate the sentiment though

@Tresquel understand. You can also call Sane and chat to someone monday-friday 10am-8pm 😊.

Hi there.

I was 44 by the time I got a correct answer to what was happening. From 17 to 44 I'd been told I had general anxiety disorder. I was like your self. I found the correct diagnisis by booking a full diagnosis clinical examination. generally, it involves a video interview with a clinical phychologist first. In my case, the phycologist told me her thoughts on what the problems she feels she is seeing. Then you attend in person for about 2 to 3 hours, they go through a series of exam-like tasks, from maths questions to seemingly strange simple things like going through a children's book and explaining what you see happening.

It's all for a reason though. In my case the phycohogist was spot on. It was always ADHD and ASD. I had been given anti deppressants, one after the other for all those years, with no benefits, only side effects. (this is purely me, I'm not suggesting those medications are wrong for everyone.)

But that was achiened in 2 days, when everyone from phychologists to doctors were not on the right path at all foe decades.

These types of clinical assesments cost around $2500. but in the end you walk away with a 50 to 60 page thouogh explaination opf the findings, which you can take to an experienced clinical phychologist, who will be able to work from tose pages to really hone in on the correct therapy. And for me, That document has been invaluable in pretty much all further ares in life from job agencies, to phychatrists, and a lot more.

sio it's 2 days, then the phycologist spends 4 weks interperating the results into a guiode for anybody who may be asssting you going forward.

I think, if you can afford that, $2500 is not a great deal of money, compared to feeling of being misunderstood, and put into the "too hard basket"

but if you can not afford that. n the mean time, there are very good clinical phycologist who you can use a medical health plan to see. the word "clinical" is important. like any feild, there are not so good to amazing clinical phycologists. Experienced pratctioners are the ones I'd recommend.

what actually happened over a period of 8 years. 2 different clinical phycologist's Had indicated ADHD and ASD. But one at the time, only saw the ASD part, and I think she felt it wasn't important for me to know the term. But she was going to work down that line with me, But she had to move away. Another, during the covid lockdowns saw ADHD, but it seemed to far fetched to me. My best friend had that; he was a " trouble teen" and the wait list to see a psychiatrit was over a year and a half. I just forgot about it.

So those two, both clinical phychologists did see the issues. Nobody else was able to spot those issues.

I hope this helps. And good luck. You are still young.

Thank you for sharing but this is honestly one of the struggles I've had when I say I can't find people that understand.

It isn't just the fact I struggle to know what's fully going on. It's the fact I was shackled to a bed a week ago then showed up to work two days later like nothing happened. Or knowing the feeling of being told what will happen to you in detail once the approval from the tribunal comes through. Or the feeling of being held down whilst injected.

It's the darker side of mental health. And while I have some explanations I feel it isn't quite right.

As far as psychiatrists go I have a treating psychiatrist at the hospitals community team and they have been a little helpful but ultimately it's just the same regimine and routine with no end in sight.

Private psychs etc are possible but most won't touch me while I'm an active patient. So it's a pain.

All this and I go to a 9-5 office job and only a couple of trusted people know and even then not all of it. It's like im living two lives at once and it's difficult to find people who understand that.

So yeah, I appreciate you sharing but I don't think you were "just like me"

@Tresquel

Sorry for what you have been through with the mental health system. I have been placed in psychiatric hospitals involuntarily, held in seclusion and held down and injected with medication against my will. I hope that going forward there will be less restrictive practices used. I don’t know what the answers are in some cases. If I was not held involuntarily I would not have sought help myself and I don’t know what would have happened. There is no utopian solution unfortunately. All I can suggest is that you might look for some kind of therapy to deal with the trauma the experience has left you with

Hi @Tresquel sorry to hear you are going through this, I understand what you mean, I was in bad shape I felt lost and isolated, nobody wanted to listen to me. It's hard, it's very hard!

At times it feels like we are on a racehorse! Our brain is going 100 miles an hour, it's just go, go, go!

Slowing down helped me a lot, I was able to be more calm, and quiet and I found peace. Try out different things and see what works for you. We sometimes think about all the negative and bad things that can happen, if that happens, switch your mindset to "What good can come out of this" I wish you a speedy recovery, have hope and stay positive, you will get through this! Believe in yourself! Take care.