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Something’s not right

Don’t want to accept the pain

Don’t want to accept the pain

Why can’t I pretend the pain isn’t real, maybe if I tell myself I’m okay and I don’t struggle with mental health I’ll be okay. Maybe if I tell myself that the traumatic memories aren’t real, then I can finally feel whole and less gross. Maybe I’ll just wake up from this dream soon and I’ll find peace within my mind when I do wake up. Maybe I’m okay, maybe there isn’t anything wrong with me

906 replies

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In response to: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Jynx I’ll see you when you’re back in, goodnight 💖🫂

I feel like I need comfort but that safe person doesn’t exist. Is there anyway to get rid of this need, even temporarily?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Have you tried wrapping your arms around you really really tight and hugging yourself and then releasing? Do this a few times @creative_writer ?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@tyme I’ve tried that, it may not be the same as having someone but it is better than nothing.

I think I’m going it’s best that I go to sleep so the thoughts don’t get too strong. I am feeling the drowsiness, I took PRN with my regular meds. Goodnight 💖

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Thinking of you @creative_writer . I really wish I could take your pain away but I really don't know how.

I can only sit with you at this time.

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@tyme I'm feeling a bit better, but I think I'll take another PRN to prevent things from getting worse. Still feeling quite restless and unsettled, I haven't been able to get much done today so far

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

I’m thinking of starting a dietary supplement that shouldn’t interact with my meds and hopefully shouldn’t disrupt bipolar. I’m getting desperate, I just hope I get relief from anxiety, sleep issues and concentration issues. I experience anxiety, irritability and anger as part of a mixed bipolar episode. I almost did something impulsive this morning but couldn’t get around to it because it was hard to sneak in with other people around. I know it probably would’ve made the bipolar part worse. But my ADHD symptoms have also been worse and it’s impossible to be a normal functioning person, it sometimes makes me want to reach for a quick fix even if it makes the mania worse. PRN can help with agitation but I hate how it makes me feel so groggy and brain foggy

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Sucks you're struggling with impulisivity today @creative_writer

What have you been up to? Here for ya hun 💜

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Jynx I’m still quite agitated and cranky. I’m tired of struggling this much, it shouldn’t be this hard. I am stuck in a rumination loop, struggling to do anything. My mind is so loud, I don’t even know how to slow it. They say distraction helps, but how do I distract myself. I can even pray in peace right now, I forgot how far I got in the afternoon prayer because my mind is somewhere else

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@creative_writer if distraction isn't helping, it could mean a couple things (well, for me anyway!) - like maybe it's time to get out of head and into body with something more movement focused, or try to engage with a task that requires more brain power.

Could also mean that you're at a point where co-regulation could help - maybe reaching out to one of your preferred supports?

In response to: Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

Re: Don’t want to accept the pain

@Jynx I think dinner is a good place to start. I haven’t eaten for a while. Maybe I should have my PRN before sleeping, I will be sleeping it off tonight. I just don’t like the effects during the day, it slows my brain too much
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