EMDR

@Dizzy4 @Black_flame70 @Jlol I tried EMDR for a while last year I "processed" a couple of childhood traumas watching a waving stick and sometimes tapping my legs. It brought up other memories too, some innocuous. I never finished the course of therapy as the psychologist wound up the sessions. I think it probably helped a bit but there would have been so much else to work through. I'm not sure whether I'd try it again, but I think I still need help with cptsd and its aftermath.

Hi @Black_flame70 and everyone else around.

I have done some EMDR with my current psychologist.

It involved holding these buzzing things and following her hand back and forth whilst thinking of a certain memory. After about 30sec of doing that she would ask me from 1 to 10, how traumatic it is for me now. Then repeat the whole process again.

I struggled with it. Bringing up painful memories from the past was very triggering for me, especially since I'd never told anyone about the memories. Did it help? Maybe, but I guess it didn't make things worse.

I also felt bad. It was something my psych really thought would help me, and I felt bad when it didn't really help. It made me feel like I was doing something wrong and that it was my fault it wasn't working.

It's probably been about 5 months since I have done it. I think it is something that you need to first be stable. Doesn't mean your mental health has to be great, but my psych wouldn't do it if I was in a distressed state or my mental health had spiraled downwards.

I see my psych on Thursday and I am expecting her to ask if I wanted to continue with it. I'm really not sure what I would do.

@Snowie - yeah I didn't continue mine. Both myself and my psychologist felt it was a good idea not to continue. It has helped a lot of people, but each persons recovery journey is different I guess - and personally I felt it set me back and made me feel even more anxious - some things trauma wise are best left in the past for me as I do not want to relive them nor do I want to go into a dissasociative state if I can prevent that.

Yeah @Black_flame70 totally understand.

I've dissociated before when I have done EMDR. It is not nice.

Also, some things are really hard to bring up. Some certainly just need to stay in the past.

@Black_flame70

I have, and am currently in the process of, trying EMDR with my therapist.

Our first attempt was far too stressful for me, and on reflection I do think some parts of therapy set me back. But it could also be a part of the process. I remind myself that therapy with complex mental health stuff can be a bit of a back and forth and you both need to work together. What I say and feel can vary wildly session to session and at the end of the day she can only gauge what Im saying/ showing while in that space.

A big factor is making sure you have somewhere soft to land and rest afterwards. A comforting space, and/ or a loved one you can cuddle and be comforted by, and time to decompress.

I learned that I can disassociate. I was asked this prior to commencing, but I didn't know myself. So I'd reccomend talking with your therapist and asking all the questions so you're very clear.

I got scared off after that experience because the memories became overwhelming and I felt stupid and way too exposed.

After talking with my therapist, we've decided to try it again, but this time she wants to reinforce my positive beliefs about myself, so we're working to focus on strengthening that rather than focus on my unpleasant memories.

I'm still undecided on whether this model is for me. I think if you're already feeling dysregulated and have a very vibrant mind, it can be difficult. Everyone is different though.

I think it's great of you to ask and gain insight from others own experiences before deciding too. I wish I had that resource available to me at the time. I was only going off of one other positive review of an acquaintance who seems to have quite a different neurological makeup to me.