Alone

@Ru-bee I'm chatting to lifeline.

I just can't do this. I have to go. I'm sorry

I'm glad you're talking to Lifeline @Former-Member, and it's totally okay if you need a break from the forums, but if you are not feeling safe please contact 000. I'm also going to send you an email now, okay?

@Former-Member

Sending much strength, love and hope your way.

Never met you but you've been in my thoughts since the horses had breakfast early this morning.

Do what you've got to do to stay safe.

Thinking of you.

@Marzey thankyou, it really means alot.

I'm just so exhausted from fighting myself. Hope you are doing well.

@Former-Member

I'm all good.

I know all too well the exhaustion of panic attacks and anxiety.

It feels like a never ending hamster wheel of torture at the time.

I'm hoping once you start getting some much needed rest that your mind will follow suit.

I was chatting here to you early this morning feeding the horses breakfast.

You helped me feed 8 pretty paddock ornaments.

Do you like animals?

My horses...I saved them but they've saved me many times when I've had a rough day. They know my deepest secrets and my biggest hopes.

Plus they can't speak back...is a bonus😂

@Marzey it's horrible and I'm completely exhausted from everything.

Horses are beautiful creatures, i used to have one but had to give him up when I moved off of the farm i was living and I just couldn't afford to keep him.

I love animals, it's a sensitive subject for me as I've had to put 4 dogs down in the past 5 years😞.

Animals are such a great comfort to have and they really are the best at listening and keeping secrets.

@Ru-bee my doctors appointment was rather disappointing. It looks like I'm not going to be getting any relief from this. I don't know what to do anymore.

Is it a case of needing to keep doing what you're already doing @Former-Member? Do you have a follow up appointment?

I'm sorry that there wasn't any sort of resolution to come from the appointment, that must be really disappointing

@Ru-bee he wanted to call an ambulance cos my heart rate is too high but I said I'll just go home to rest and see if it settles down. He is worried my heart is getting tired from working to hard and it could just give up. I have my ndis meeting tomorrow and I really don't want to miss that. But I know I'm really at risk right now with my heart rate sitting at 163bpm.

Doctor just said to try more medication to help me sleep, if that doesn't work then we can change to a different one.

Are you able to continue monitoring your heart rate at home @Former-Member?

Ah I know the quest to find the right medication can be so tedious but maybe it can lead to some relief