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Grieving

KeliSenior Contributor08 Jan 2025, 1:54 am AEDT

Grieving

Hi, I’m not sure if I have posted this in the right forum category but I couldn’t see any others that looked right.

Anyway, I lost my son to suicide in July last year. And it has absolutely floored me. I had no idea he was feeling that way; I mean I knew he didn’t really like where he was living and his beloved cat had recently passed away but I really thought he was doing ok. He lived interstate though so it would have been easier for him to hide it I guess.

As the months go on though I feel like I am descending into madness. I feel so guilty that I didn’t see the signs that he was at immanent risk and in such despair. I saw his note and journal and it was so awful to read. I felt sadness that he didn’t share his feelings with me. The guilt is eating me up. I can’t talk to anyone about it as I feel that everyone thinks I should be ‘over it’ now and back to normal but I never will be normal again or the person I was before. I want to be where he is, I hate this new reality and new outlook on life. I am so tired and my thoughts are jumbled right now.

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In response to: Grieving

KeliSenior Contributor10 Jan 2025, 5:29 am AEDT

Re: Grieving

Hi @Ru-bee thank you for your kind words. I will check out the Stand by support service.

Yes 6 months is not long but in some ways it feels like a lifetime. I have made an appointment with my grief counsellor so that I can work through some things as I am not coping well and feel like I am falling apart. It is so hard to keep going and doing all the regular things I have to do like working and look like nothing is wrong.

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