I’m bored.. + some random thoughts

@Blackcloud totally get it. I get sick of hearing the it'll get better, things will change, it won't be like this forever. Reality is for some of us it never changes. But I truly do hope that something changes for you sweet.

That's definitely exciting, hope it all goes well for you.

Haha @Blackcloud usually I'm on every other Saturday!! Usually I'd be off today but I'm covering - so you'll see me next weekend as well, but not the one after!

Ach, food prep is a TIIIIME hey. Frustrating!!

@MissGremlin 😋🤗

@Jynx Seriously though i hate the fact that the thought of cooking makes me feel exhausted and mentally drained because to me it actually is.

yesterday I was eating at a shopping centre and I was sitting next to these two guys - I overheard one of them telling his friend that he finds cooking to be relaxing. Like how? O_O and yet I find it the opposite 🥲😭😭 I hate this life.

@MissGremlin thank you, I want to lowkey keep on trying by continuing to participate in NDIS related social group events, but it’s like everytime I try to get myself to join/participate in something where there’s people in it, it actually never works out in the end.🥲 idk how many times I need to keep trying in order for me to reach that. Or I’m just gonna continue suffering being alone without any continuous support from people in real life.🥲

@Blackcloud i know it's hard to keep trying when things don't work out. But all it takes is that one time that maybe you make a connection with someone and that could change everything. I guess just take it at your pace, if you feel up to going to one of the social groups then go for it, if not then wait until you do feel up to it. Sending you big hugs sweet ❤️

@MissGremlin since 2 nights ago, I actually was thinking of seeing a counsellor that has autism herself (diagnosed) just like I do, so that maybe she can get an understand of my concerns in an autistic person’s perspective. Thanks to a few people I’ve spoken to including @Jynx (and I think @rav3n too?) on here that suggested it.

The thing is this counsellor’s session costs money 🙃 so that’s a downside haha.. $60 for a 30 minute session & $100 for a 50 minute session lol 🥲

I also feel that taking a mental health/psychology course starting from June and heading into that pathway might help me to be able to connect with others in a way that they can understand and accept me I guess? I feel people who specialise in these fields tend to be the most understanding since they’ve learnt about all sorts of psychology related stuff during their time in that degree

@Blackcloud that could be really helpful. Downside of the costs involved but if it helps then it's worth it.

Yes I think people who do those fields have more of an understanding. Hopefully it all goes well for you, some exciting and big changes happening for you coming up.

@MissGremlin I do genuinely hope they're at least exciting for me with those things in terms of where I wanna head to career wise as well as whether I'd still be able to connect with people or not. though I have found that throughout my experiences with talking to another volunteer + a support worker of mine whose currently doing psychology, they both seem to be very understanding of my struggles which is great. its great when you have and know those kinds of people like that, and I want to set an example for others that are also going through their own mental health lived experiences. 🤗💕 my occupational therapist who is 4 years older than me seems to be understanding too and she's very nice. so is my (former) psychologist until last month before I ended my sessions with her.

So do you feel safe this weekend @Blackcloud ??

@PeppyPatti what do you mean?

Hi @rav3n I really wish I know how to cook without feeling like cooking is the most mentally exhausting and draining task to do. 😭😭😭😭😭

I’ve been looking at some easy to cook healthy recipes but with the ingredients I’d have to buy that would cost money so I don’t know how I’m gonna go with that. But at the same time I wanna cry because I wish I can have the capacity to even cook and buy ingredients, or even better - start cooking on the regular. 😭😭😭😭 but I can’t. 😭😭😭😭😭