Setting boundaries with carer family member

Hi all,

I have a difficult family member who causes a lot of tension in the household. I have been encouraged to set boundaries with them regarding their tendency to endlessly rehash past issues and dumping everything on me. Their behaviour triggers my symptoms and has put me in uncomfortable situations.

What my therapists, parents and other family member suggested I say was the following, “You need to stop talking about this. The issue has been resolved. Any lingering issues should be sorted out with mum and dad.”

This made the situation worse. They called the response dismissive, rude and abusive. Was what I told them bad? I said word-for-word what my therapists agreed upon, and now I’m worried my family member will file a complaint against them for allegedly teaching me abusive tactics.