Let's Discuss: Coping with End Of Year Challenges

Hey Forums Family,

I'm going to be very real about this.

The end-of-year and new year break has always been a huge challenge for me. I recognise I'm not alone in feeling this way.

I found this time to be a time where I had little supports available, limited routine and structure, full of unpredictability and a lot of demand in terms of people 'expecting' you to have a 'Happy' time.

Because of this, I spent a lot of this time in hospital or PARCs.

Over the years, I've been able to work with my treating team to have things in place during this time as part of my recovery goal.

Let's just say, I still don't LOVE this time of the year, but I am able to cope much more than in the past.

What have some of your coping strategies been?

@tyme I experienced that a lot too. The end of year sees so many on leave for various reasons. I hate this time for many reasons, then not having my usual supports just made it hell. Each year I'd fall into familiar patterns and I felt abandoned by the world.

This year I'm living in new ndis accommodation, I'm moving to my new house in 2 days. I'll have people with me 24/7 over this period and I'm planning a small house warming with friends for the new year. I'm hoping this year will find new meaning and new traditions. I'm actually looking forward to a break in formal therapies and supports. I need some me time. I need to reset, and recenter and re-evaluate my directions.

Over this year, I just want to share how far you have come @The-red-centaur . It is such a privilege to see your growth and how you have learnt to embrace things that come your way.

Continue being the amazing person you are, and all the best with your new accommodation! The House warming sounds exciting!

@tyme thank you. A lot has happened/changed this year. I'm glad of how far I've come though. I'm learning to love myself and love life, never thought though words would ever be possible, not for someone like me, but even the "worst patients" can make a recovery.

Life is a journey, im learning to find its beauty and adventure. Life isn't linear, nor is recovery. Shit happens, a lot of shit happens, doesn't mean it can have some fun.

When life throws shit at you. Throw it back....it's a shit fight. You'll get dirty, but hey, at least we are all up shits Creek without a paddle, we aren't alone in it.

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When life throws shit at you. Throw it back....it's a shit fight. You'll get dirty, but hey, at least we are all up shits Creek without a paddle, we aren't alone in it.

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Hahaha! Love it! @The-red-centaur

Thanks for sharing!

@tyme

What have some of your coping strategies been?

I definitely relate to all of those triggers which you mentioned. And good on you for learning how to better manage what is often a very stressful few days.

Earlier today I was actually trying to plan our day, emphasizing to my (ex) wife how important it is for me to have structure on xmas day, such as a plan, a routine etc. I'm not asking for us to create a timetable but at the very least a general idea of what we are doing and the order.

I tried to explain that this helps my anxiety, and is like an insurance policy to make sure everyone has a good day. She wants to fly by the seat of her pants and just doesn't care much this year.

In her defense she has received some sad family news so she is worried about them, and not in high spirits.

I'm sure it will all work out. Last year was fine, so we will most likely do something similar but with less fuss about the food.

@tyme

Only plans I made for Christmas/New Year period is to buy precooked roast lamb and vegies from one specific shop.

I make no other plans for any day during this period and take each day as it comes. This year I’ve been invited out to BYO relaxed BBQ by few others in the village where I live.

I don’t like this time of year. Too many memories, both good and not good, that quite often get me upset.

I buy myself something, regardless how small or silly. Something I want and will use, even if don’t actually need it

Have a happy christmas. Have a great day. Words spoken to me by everyone I come into contact with. Even those workers in stores say it, guess they do to sound friendly. So I just say, thanks you too.

If they only knew how hard it is to get through the day. A day where so many adults didn't notice what was happening.

Yes I have family over and pretend like nothing is wrong. We do all the food with the trimmings, the presents, the plum pudding. Pretend.

So exhausting. So many bad memories. So much trauma.

My strategies - might sound bad but use prn to the max. Take time out (even for a few minutes) when needed. Lean on hubby, pretend.

My dream - I know I will never enjoy the day, but just to get through without dreading it would be a win.

I just hope I've made it a day that my children will cherish forever. Will have long life memories of it being such a great day.

I'm glad you were able to speak out to your ex wife about needing a bit of structure @WizardMotor . I guess it can really help. Sounds like they may benefit from it too seeing there are some challenges being faced.

@Former-Member , absolutely okay to have something simple. Do what you can. Sometimes, the more expectation we have, the harder it becomes!

@Snowie , pretending is EXHAUSTING! I'm mindful socialising is not the easiest thing to do. I'm sure your children will cherish whatever time you spend with them.