Life and trauma

@MJG017 i want to just sleep for a long time without being disturbed by something. Not getting enough sleep isn't helping my situation at all. I really hope that the worst is behind me. I'm really struggling to find anything positive to hang on to. My mind just doesn't stop racing even when I'm sleeping it's still going.

@Former-Member

Ive been trying to think of my own situation over the past 2 years and I realised that if depression hits me, its generally during the day. If panic hits, it always when i wake up during the night and a thought will pop into my head where everything feels like its too much and the panic starts. Generally not full panic attacks, but its always at night when I have these thoughts.

I always try to force myself to go to some kind of positive "happy place". A lot of the times finding a positive is too hard so I just make one up. I just think of something that would be so nice if it happened and then lay there imagining it actually happening. Its weird, but its always helped me a lot. I live that moment in my head. If nothing else it acts as a distraction, but I think part of me just enjoys visiting that fantasy world where such great things happen to me and what it would be like. Its like writing a story in my head in realtime as i imagine this situation unfolding.

I don't know, maybe its delusional, but i akways find it help calm me and usually i end up falling asleep while this little fantasy runs through my mind. I just thought maybe it could help you as well. Ive been doing it so long, that i now think of it as my happy place I can go to when i need to get away from reality for a while.

@Former-Member

Okay.. so I posted this 3 hours ago and just looked at my phone and saw it came up with a warning and hadn't posted it!! So better late than never i guess.

T.S. Eliot said If we take the widest and wisest view of a Cause, there is no such thing as a Lost Cause because there is no such thing as a Gained Cause.

Winston Churchill, on the other hand said lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for.

So which every way you look at it from, you either can't be a lost cause or you're worth fighting for. I get that its probably still so hard for you to see, but the rest of us do for you.

I have no real plans for the day. My partner's parents are supposed to be coming over, some time, so her mum can see the kitten. So I'm mentally preparing myself for that.

@MJG017 thanks and you guessed it though I really can't see it.

Hopefully the visit goes smoothly and they enjoy kitten cuddles.

Hi @Former-Member ,

We've sent you a check-in email.

@Former-Member

I understand. With everything you've been through, it probably would be difficult to see at them moment. Just know that it's there.

So they're sending you home today? Please don't tell me you're walking?

@Former-Member Its just that its warm out there and its quite a walk... and yiuve been in hospital and have issues with your heart. I was just concerned about you putting that much stress on yourself. At least post a message when you get home to let us know you got there safely.

Hello @Former-Member ,

I'm one of the moderators. Have you been able to check your emails? Unfortunately, we are not able to keep your posts online as the content does not align with Community Guidelines.

We encourage you to discuss your concerns with your treating team.

@holdinghope5 i have replied to the email.